Love: Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes...

By sexxibxmami - United States

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

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26978

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Love

They targeted gamers. GAMERS.

#1 Dad of the day

Send virtual hugs

By The Bosnian - 15/10/2020 02:02 - Sweden - Solna

Wait, what?

Today, after I applied and interviewed for a technical position in IT two weeks ago, they informed me that I didn't get it, because I'm "too technical." How the hell is that even possible? FML

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1127

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By TheGirl - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

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42114

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3917

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By bailey1389 - 26/8/2020 02:02 - United States

Slippery slope

Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1625

You deserved it

174

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By william - United States

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9885

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By oops - Canada - Victoria

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34012

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8306

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By sleepyt127 - United States

Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53000

You deserved it

7730

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By paulcorrea95 - United States

Boozing on the job

Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1689

You deserved it

177

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By Anonymous

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36676

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6082

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By GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47722

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3604

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By she won't see a therapist - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19429

You deserved it

1468

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By pkstarstorm - United States

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52959

You deserved it

19992

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By Anonymous - United States - Bedminster

Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28294

You deserved it

4304

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By xoxo - 1/4/2020 02:00 - United States

Miscommunication

Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1698

You deserved it

360

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34337

You deserved it

4338

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40246

You deserved it

3152

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By TrophyGirlfriend - United States

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53770

You deserved it

3187

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By Nik - United States

Today, I found out that my mother was having an affair with my boss "to help me keep my job" because she thought I was useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32544

You deserved it

2638

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By st00pid - Canada

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12557

You deserved it

44922

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23755

You deserved it

2008

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By sweet - United States

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

91192

You deserved it

5415

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By hangman - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48624

You deserved it

4509

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49226

You deserved it

4590

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Bristol

Corporate hell

Today, I found out I didn't get the promotion I applied for. Then I was told I was the only one who applied for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1780

You deserved it

132

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By gayvsgay - Germany - V?lklingen

Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23725

You deserved it

1803

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By sexlube - United States - Kirkland

Hand sanitizer

Today, my kid told my wife he's been using the hand sanitizer under our bathroom sink. It's not hand sanitizer, it's a giant bottle of lube.

I agree, your life sucks

1488

You deserved it

875

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By emkatch - Canada

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67621

You deserved it

4341

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By ImaSneakyNinja - United States - Madison Heights

Today, I asked a girl that I've been talking to for a couple of weeks out, but immediately got rejected because I'm left handed. I guess I'll leave that part out next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9675

You deserved it

805

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By Hobbsie - Canada

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15429

You deserved it

29958

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By Biological - United States

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49616

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Tunkhannock

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52216

You deserved it

9320

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By LeftOut - United States

Today, I saw my friends talking about plans for later during lunch. I walked over and asked for the plan. My best friend of 12 years gently took me aside, and said "You know that person in each group of friends that is only around to be made fun of? That's you." I just got dumped by my friends. FML

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79455

You deserved it

4825

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By yuck

Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30257

You deserved it

4161

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By JoJo - United States

Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41959

You deserved it

5171

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By toastynippies - United States

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36114

You deserved it

3199

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By BiteMe14 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39708

You deserved it

7359

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By PurpleSloth - United States - Tracy

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25820

You deserved it

16042

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By Anonymous - United States - Pekin

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38109

You deserved it

7825

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By carboat - United States

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19320

You deserved it

44609

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36069

You deserved it

3085

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By Sherressa - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39551

You deserved it

27972

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Top comments

By WONDERWB | 2

#873488 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:22

I hate parents that say suck it up. My best friend in high school lost his kidney because he was told to suck it up. He sued his parents for neglect, won and took the out of state scholarship.

By thirdbase1733 | 0

#873553 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:38

that's uhm kinda creepy

COMMENTS

By PsychoMerk | 0

#873446 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:18

first?

PsychoMerk | 0

#873471 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:20

woah o.o this is what power feels like... sorry guys, just had a burst of excitement :)

iAlwaysYDI | 0

#873526 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:31

wow. . .ur life sucks :(

mattchap | 0

#873674 - Saturday 20 February 2010 0:15

I love the brave little toaster

isreal | 0

#874211 - Saturday 20 February 2010 3:08

u should have let her do it if it hurted u should have told her to stop dumd ass

MetroidSlayer01 | 8

#874232 - Saturday 20 February 2010 3:19

Aw, poor you.

brandothemando | 0

#874491 - Saturday 20 February 2010 5:25

ironic,ur name is ialwaysYDI and you
said ur life sucks

M4V3R1CKR13 | 0

#874492 - Saturday 20 February 2010 5:26

That Sucks

Nailbunny | 4

#874673 - Saturday 20 February 2010 6:56

no protectant? that's what keeps it from damaging your skin and scalp.

By seabiscuit1276 | 0

#873448 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:18

hahahahahaha. she's reaaaaal smart.

iCanMakeYoBEDROC_fml | 0

#873697 - Saturday 20 February 2010 0:22

your mom sounds like a bitch.

By connercollis | 0

#873449 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:18

Why didn't you just leave?

elledubb | 0

#873605 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:51

aww cause it was op's place...

By connercollis | 0

#873455 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:19

hahaha

By protwtf | 0

#873457 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:19

Just jizz on it.

DukeSkidmark | 0

#873493 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:23

I heard that is good for the skin.

elledubb | 0

#873621 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:57

eeww you have heard wrong!

By saranottelling | 7

#873463 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:19

Your mom sounds lovely... Shave half of her hair off as she sleeps. She'll have to make the tough decision to go bald or to keep her one-sided hair. Good Luck.

lezzyluver | 0

#874367 - Saturday 20 February 2010 4:26

haha!

By Horney4her69 | 0

#873482 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:21

ouch

rogerdodger777 | 0

#873494 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:24

that's your mom's way of saying don't perm

By SuiGeneris01 | 2

#873487 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:22

snicker I see you're always on,
ydi for not punching your mom in the face

By WONDERWB | 2

#873488 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:22

I hate parents that say suck it up. My best friend in high school lost his kidney because he was told to suck it up. He sued his parents for neglect, won and took the out of state scholarship.

tereshay | 0

#873501 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:24

ooo I needa sue my parents too!

By PsychoMerk | 0

#873499 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:25

why? 0,0