Intimacy: Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were...

By namhtor - 28/09/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 499

You deserved it 6 741

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 514

You deserved it 64 301

By joe - 23/06/2013 23:36 - United States - Easton

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 685

You deserved it 8 605

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 200

You deserved it 56 602

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 324

You deserved it 36 275

By Perpetually F-ed. - 17/01/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 359

You deserved it 9 322

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 105

By epistaxis - 29/01/2009 02:31 - Australia

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 714

You deserved it 3 956

By TappedAnts - 08/04/2016 01:45 - United States - Seabrook

Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 086

You deserved it 1 337

Caught in 404p

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 04:49 - Canada

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 294

You deserved it 51 509

By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 451

You deserved it 9 763

omgyoukilledkeny 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:28

I ****** LOVE UR MOM

rb7_Brady 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:20

Lmao you must be very lonely

Comments

FrankieTheNimrod 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 3:13

AND the OP wrote "where," when he should have written "were." Therefore, OP needs to go back to second grade.

Thutboy 12

Tuesday 29 September 2009 4:06

your mom is awsome. btw FYL

lotsologan 2

Tuesday 29 September 2009 4:18

There are so many grammatical errors in this post!

themaintroll 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 4:39

YDI for reading Of Mice And Men...the worst book ever written

qwasedral 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 4:56

its spelled mastrubation

mikew85 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 5:49

well, everyone has their talents. lol

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 6:29

You're obviously not a pro if you can't spell masturbation right.

Junkson 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 7:13

How does your mom know you're a pro?What a perverted bitch.

missme_fml 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 8:15

so what about the spelling? we all got what was being said. the mom is just joking around, it is funny!

shapeshifter101 4

Tuesday 29 September 2009 9:55

just one of those moments you wish you were not there. hu?

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The Top

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

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You deserved it 15 563

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The Top

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You deserved it 3 950

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I agree, your life sucks 31 879

You deserved it 10 327

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I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 362

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I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 215

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I agree, your life sucks 50 619

You deserved it 6 967

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I agree, your life sucks 2 431

You deserved it 135