By Anonymous - 09/01/2012 02:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 079
You deserved it 3 939

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Do you have a dog? They're pretty good at leaving surprises on driveways also.

Not quite a new Lexus?


What's the problem?

Do you have a dog? They're pretty good at leaving surprises on driveways also.

Horse poop or cow poop works 10 times better

Pre-dinner mayonnaise! It's good for you.

Dog poop is slightly easier to come by for the average citizen. Hell, just shit on his driveway op.

So I have to admit, I got pretty happy when I read this comment and it was grammatically correct. It bugs the shit out of me when people don't know their "there/their/they're". Common sense isn't so common nowadays :/

Hey Captain, while you were commending #1 on her proper use of grammar, you failed to use proper punctuation. Periods go at the end of sentences and inside parenthesis, regardless of logical placement.

I bet you were surprised though...

Yes I suppose you're correct if I'm writing in "American English." (

You sure it was mayonnaise ? Better find out before you start eating it....

GovernorGeneral 8

So what's the problem ma'am? Mayonnaise isn't good enough for you?

Keyman: Captain did not use the parenthesis.

You're right, my mistake. Quotation marks were what I meant to say.

That's racist!

It puts the mayo on its skin!

79- I just burst out laughing when I saw the pic of Kermit.

Sammybabbyy 2

I love banging people I meet on

I love when a bunch of grammar nazis all end up messing up and correcting each other. Lmao

it was a sex pickup of course! mayonnaise looks like ... you know! very odd in my oppinion

Shit would have been funnier.

THAT'S a shitty comment -_-

Both of you just.. Please stop.

It's funny how #8 said #3's comment was witty, but his is just as shitty

As in witty I meant shitty*

Man, I would've loved that surprise. I love mayo!

fyl, mayo sucks lol

supnowww 0

TROLOLOLOLOL. shit happens

Really? Shit would have been funnier? Well here, let me have someone shit on your driveway, and you tell us how funny it is.

what's wrong with your face ?

I wouldnt expect anything good if its left on the driveway

Not true. I left my gf's new car in her driveway. Only because i couldnt get it through the front door...

I beg to differ. One time I found a really neat couch on a driveway. It was home to a family of raccoons, but they didn't mind us taking it.

It's the new lube he wants to try out!

Torva_fml 16

28- you bought your GIRLFRIEND a new car? Either you're loaded, or you've been together a while....

Frankly, I'd be pleased of someone left mayonnaise on my driveway.

Not quite a new Lexus?

ShroomsOnAcid 16

It's even better! All you need is a little *rainbow*imaginaaaaaation*rainbow*! Either way, who needs a Lexus when you have mayonaise? And in convenient little single serving sized packets, at that?

You know what... You're completely right. :D Fuck cars. Until they sell one with a condiment dispenser I'm on your side.

If imagination is the point here, the boyfriend should have got OP a box. She can be anything she wants in the box, like a racecar driver! All she needs is *rainbow* imaaaaaaginaaaaation*rainbow*

mynameispickle 0

If you need any help with that box thing ask Spongebob.

You're cute hahaa

You should leave a pile of shit on his door step to break even!

thejewishfuhrer 17

That would've surprised anybody. Your boyfriend is such a thoughtful person

Yeah! Screw the car with a bow on top that OP expected. Then it's not a surprise anymore

d'aawww how romantic :')

xSonic 9

For some reason I thought his gift was gonna be shit.

I think we all did..

OP- Are you implying you want me to make you a sandwich?! OPs boyfriend- *poker face*

sparklecherry 4

Lol!! Good one.