Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
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By
steviesnm
| 6
Do you have a dog? They're pretty good at leaving surprises on driveways also.
By
steviesnm
| 6
Both of you just.. Please stop.
COMMENTS
By
LukeSkywalker28
| 0
What's the problem?
By
steviesnm
| 6
Do you have a dog? They're pretty good at leaving surprises on driveways also.
Reply
trollfaced
| 2
Horse poop or cow poop works 10 times better
Reply
BatteryAddict
| 11
Pre-dinner mayonnaise! It's good for you.
Reply
steviesnm
| 6
Dog poop is slightly easier to come by for the average citizen.
Hell, just shit on his driveway op.
Hell, just shit on his driveway op.
Reply
CaptainCola
| 7
So I have to admit, I got pretty happy when I read this comment and it was grammatically correct. It bugs the shit out of me when people don't know their "there/their/they're". Common sense isn't so common nowadays :/
Reply
Keyman1212
| 14
Hey Captain, while you were commending #1 on her proper use of grammar, you failed to use proper punctuation. Periods go at the end of sentences and inside parenthesis, regardless of logical placement.
Reply
Miss_Kristen
| 10
I bet you were surprised though...
Reply
CaptainCola
| 7
Yes I suppose you're correct if I'm writing in "American English." (
Reply
_kfchicken
| 4
You sure it was mayonnaise ? Better find out before you start eating it....
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GovernorGeneral
| 8
So what's the problem ma'am?
Mayonnaise isn't good enough for you?
Mayonnaise isn't good enough for you?
Reply
noncomposmentis
| 6
Keyman: Captain did not use the parenthesis.
Reply
Keyman1212
| 14
You're right, my mistake. Quotation marks were what I meant to say.
Reply
elidine
| 0
That's racist!
Reply
elidine
| 0
It puts the mayo on its skin!
Reply
IntenseGas
| 0
79- I just burst out laughing when I saw the pic of Kermit.
Reply
Sammybabbyy
| 2
I love banging people I meet on hoookupstonight.gu.ma
Reply
steviesnm
| 6
I love when a bunch of grammar nazis all end up messing up and correcting each other. Lmao
Reply
newmanlyman3
| 8
it was a sex pickup of course! mayonnaise looks like ... you know! very odd in my oppinion
By
Harpy20
| 24
Shit would have been funnier.
Reply
007bawss
| 0
THAT'S a shitty comment -_-
Reply
steviesnm
| 6
Both of you just.. Please stop.
Reply
trollfaced
| 2
It's funny how #8 said #3's comment was witty, but his is just as shitty
Reply
trollfaced
| 2
As in witty I meant shitty*
Reply
boofgall
| 16
Man, I would've loved that surprise. I love mayo!
Reply
Pentium_4
| 26
fyl, mayo sucks lol
Reply
supnowww
| 0
TROLOLOLOLOL.
shit happens
shit happens
Reply
Roevera
| 14
Really? Shit would have been funnier? Well here, let me have someone shit on your driveway, and you tell us how funny it is.
Reply
NeDaroft
| 5
what's wrong with your face ?
By
Amrel
| 10
I wouldnt expect anything good if its left on the driveway
Reply
cosmosis
| 12
Not true. I left my gf's new car in her driveway. Only because i couldnt get it through the front door...
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fancyclown
| 9
I beg to differ. One time I found a really neat couch on a driveway. It was home to a family of raccoons, but they didn't mind us taking it.
Reply
kjcookie10
| 9
It's the new lube he wants to try out!
Reply
Torva_fml
| 16
28- you bought your GIRLFRIEND a new car? Either you're loaded, or you've been together a while....
Reply
TrimKibbles
| 12
Frankly, I'd be pleased of someone left mayonnaise on my driveway.
By
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
Not quite a new Lexus?
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
It's even better! All you need is a little *rainbow*imaginaaaaaation*rainbow*! Either way, who needs a Lexus when you have mayonaise? And in convenient little single serving sized packets, at that?
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
You know what...
You're completely right. :D
Fuck cars.
Until they sell one with a condiment dispenser I'm on your side.
You're completely right. :D
Fuck cars.
Until they sell one with a condiment dispenser I'm on your side.
Reply
Amrel
| 10
If imagination is the point here, the boyfriend should have got OP a box. She can be anything she wants in the box, like a racecar driver! All she needs is *rainbow* imaaaaaaginaaaaation*rainbow*
Reply
mynameispickle
| 0
If you need any help with that box thing ask Spongebob.
Reply
Jordyn_WhoDat
| 6
You're cute hahaa
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Jordyn_WhoDat
| 6
You're cute!
By
trollfaced
| 2
You should leave a pile of shit on his door step to break even!
By
thejewishfuhrer
| 17
That would've surprised anybody. Your boyfriend is such a thoughtful person
Reply
yahoowizard
| 16
Yeah! Screw the car with a bow on top that OP expected. Then it's not a surprise anymore
By
olibuur
| 9
d'aawww how romantic :')
By
xSonic
| 9
For some reason I thought his gift was gonna be shit.
Reply
ClaremoreZebra
| 8
I think we all did..
By
Meowingtons500
| 18
OP- Are you implying you want me to make you a sandwich?!
OPs boyfriend- *poker face*
OPs boyfriend- *poker face*
Reply
jaronapn13
| 1
Haha legend
Reply
Meowingtons500
| 18
I try.
Reply
sparklecherry
| 4
Lol!! Good one.