By Anonymous - 09/01/2012 02:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 097
You deserved it 3 950

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Do you have a dog? They're pretty good at leaving surprises on driveways also.


Do you have a dog? They're pretty good at leaving surprises on driveways also.

Horse poop or cow poop works 10 times better

Pre-dinner mayonnaise! It's good for you.

Dog poop is slightly easier to come by for the average citizen. Hell, just shit on his driveway op.

So I have to admit, I got pretty happy when I read this comment and it was grammatically correct. It bugs the shit out of me when people don't know their "there/their/they're". Common sense isn't so common nowadays :/

Hey Captain, while you were commending #1 on her proper use of grammar, you failed to use proper punctuation. Periods go at the end of sentences and inside parenthesis, regardless of logical placement.

Yes I suppose you're correct if I'm writing in "American English." (

You sure it was mayonnaise ? Better find out before you start eating it....

GovernorGeneral 8

So what's the problem ma'am? Mayonnaise isn't good enough for you?

Keyman: Captain did not use the parenthesis.

You're right, my mistake. Quotation marks were what I meant to say.

79- I just burst out laughing when I saw the pic of Kermit.

Sammybabbyy 2

I love banging people I meet on

I love when a bunch of grammar nazis all end up messing up and correcting each other. Lmao

it was a sex pickup of course! mayonnaise looks like ... you know! very odd in my oppinion

It's funny how #8 said #3's comment was witty, but his is just as shitty

Man, I would've loved that surprise. I love mayo!

supnowww 0

Really? Shit would have been funnier? Well here, let me have someone shit on your driveway, and you tell us how funny it is.

I wouldnt expect anything good if its left on the driveway

Not true. I left my gf's new car in her driveway. Only because i couldnt get it through the front door...

I beg to differ. One time I found a really neat couch on a driveway. It was home to a family of raccoons, but they didn't mind us taking it.

It's the new lube he wants to try out!

Torva_fml 16

28- you bought your GIRLFRIEND a new car? Either you're loaded, or you've been together a while....

Frankly, I'd be pleased of someone left mayonnaise on my driveway.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

It's even better! All you need is a little *rainbow*imaginaaaaaation*rainbow*! Either way, who needs a Lexus when you have mayonaise? And in convenient little single serving sized packets, at that?

You know what... You're completely right. :D **** cars. Until they sell one with a condiment dispenser I'm on your side.

If imagination is the point here, the boyfriend should have got OP a box. She can be anything she wants in the box, like a racecar driver! All she needs is *rainbow* imaaaaaaginaaaaation*rainbow*

mynameispickle 0

If you need any help with that box thing ask Spongebob.

You should leave a pile of shit on his door step to break even!

thejewishfuhrer 17

That would've surprised anybody. Your boyfriend is such a thoughtful person

Yeah! Screw the car with a bow on top that OP expected. Then it's not a surprise anymore

xSonic 9

For some reason I thought his gift was gonna be shit.