Today, my in-laws told me, in all seriousness, that my kid was going to end up paralyzed because I let him play on grass. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, I was giving a tour for parents who wanted to send their kids to our school. One of the parents had a kid on crutches with what appeared to be a broken leg, so I asked him how he broke it. He replied, "I was born like this." FML
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, I attempted to give a motivational speech to my kids, trying to inspire them with life lessons. They then asked me why I couldn't "do a cartwheel like all the other parents" and challenged me to try. Now my back hurts, and I’m questioning my life choices. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
So that's why those "Keep off the grass" signs exist! I thought they were just put there by assholes who think grass needs to be kept neat and tidy so they look important.
J352SAURUS 30
I think having in-laws with beliefs like that is an FML.
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Comments (23)
Kruxon 11
Are they paralysed?
Wadlaen 24
What kind of grass is this...?
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Sounds like they've been smoking the grass.
Harley Osborne 8
Well grass-type Pokémon can cause paralysis.
Mal2003 17
Press them for answers. If they don't have a good answer, then call them out on it.