Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long, nasty toenails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
Today, my dad has such thick, horn like toenails that when I stepped on one of the cuttings, it actually stabbed into the thinner skin on the underside of my toe and bled like crazy. FML
Today, I had surgery done to fix an ingrown toenail. When the doctor started cutting the nail, my toe wasn't entirely numb. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I painfully watched my doctor burn a hole in my nail to drain the blood underneath. This is the prescribed treatment for the injury of hammering your thumb. FML
Today, years after I stepped on a nail and had the wound stitched, I got an X-ray. I've had serious trouble walking, and it turns out I had 2.5 inches of nail living in the sole of my foot, stabbing up into my ankle joint. I now need major surgery. FML
Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML
Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML
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Top comments
GR3453m0nk3y 4
SLIP SOMETHING IN HIS DRINK AND THEN CUT THEM sorry about the caps, i'd fix it but im too lazy
aback 5
Make him sleep on the couch. Or the porch, if you don't have a couch.
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Comments (126)
Colette_woops 0
Why would you marry someone like that and then complain?
Mitzi_doll 0
ewwww and you tolerate that? grosss
AmericanGal21 11
I'd tell him no sex until they're gone haha
leahk1785 0
Tell him that he's a hazard and, for safety reasons, won't be allowed in the bed until he takes some hedge clippers to those weapons!
stephnee6888 2
Omg, this has happened to me too!>_
sonnyrosa 32
That's when you chop them off while he's sleeping... dope him up with antihistamines to make sure he doesn't wake up in the middle of it... shave his head while you're at it... and draw a penis on his face with Sharpie... payback's a bitch.
dianadoll 23
that is so disgusting. ewww threatened divorce if he won't cut them. y u c k
Butterflysins 10
I would cut them in his sleep.
DusktheKat 12
Well, now you get to watch him get ingrown toenails and have to get shots in the fat, fleshy, sensitive part of his toes.
judea95 16
Just cut them in his sleep if he's refusing. That or make him sleep on the sofa until he cuts them