Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Congrats!
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Classic Dave
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, I found out my soon-to-be husband and father of my unborn child is already married to another man. FML
Today, my husband decided it was time to tell me he had a 3 year old son. We have been married for 5 years. FML
Planned parenthood
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML
Top comments
flashback.miss 28
And that was when you delivered a well-deserved kick to his testicles before tossing him out on the street, right? My condolences, OP.
CharresBarkrey 16
Or people who use the idiotic logic of "Well, you must be doing something wrong if he's looking elsewhere for sex."
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Comments (159)
kee_breezy32 34
foreal tho!
jipster 11
Ah you guys.. Maybe her husband didn't cheat, maybe he is pregnant. You guys are drawing conclusions too fast.
littlem91 29
Or people who catch the wrong button on the mobile app. Wish you could change votes!
Vinnie500 14
Ok, FLAG this post as bad as well, but as a GUY. I have NEVER known ANY guy to cheat on a woman that is satisfying him. THE ONLY TIME A MAN CHEATS IS WHEN HE IS NOT BEING SATISFIED AT HOME. Women don't get mad understand FACTS. So therefor, it is at least partially her fault for not satisfying her man.
liblob 6
i dont think a man or woman cheats on there husband purely for the sex aspect. if that was case every single person would cheat on the partner every time any 'problem' came up... rather than trying to sort out the issue
Vinnie500 14
Get real, if a person (man or woman) is satisfied at home, then they have NO reason and will not cheat. Therefor, his/her needs were not being met at home.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
28, is it the same for women? or is female satisfaction not important in your world?
ksuth 25
If the guys not being satisfied he needs to say something to his wife/girlfriend or whatever. Not go cheat on them. They cheat cause they're lazy assholes who clearly can't take time to work things out in the bedroom with their significant others. Either that or they think they're a gift to the world and should be able to have sex with whoever they want, relationship or not.
Vinnie500 14
I NEVER said that it was RIGHT for him to cheat, just that the reason he cheated was because his needs were not being met at home. Learn to COMPREHEND a comment before firing off a snide comment.
dangousity 21
Isn't it always the "mans" fault?
Rodville 28
Lets say for the sake of argument that husband "A" has a high sex drive. Wife "A" doesn't. Husband "A" has told his wife on numerous occasions that he is not getting enough sex. Wife "A" doesn't want sex therefore doesn't care to give her husband more sex. Wife "A"'s exact words are "deal with it" what is husband "A" suppose to do to satisfy himself? Really I want to know...umm for a friend, yeah a friend.
Sheh_fml 25
She has no obligation to **** him whenever he wants. It is in no way her fault. If he is not satisfied, he should either suck it up and accept or leave the relationship.
boshbish 14
Not true at all. An old friend of mine loved his wife, his children, his life and was completely satisfied with his sex life. Then an old girlfriend from twenty years ago added him on facebook. After months of messaging, the likes of which turned flirty, they met when she was in town for work. He cheated on his wife a lot that week., He told me himself that no matter how happy his wife made him, nothing would've stopped him sleeping with the beautiful woman with whom he had a past. Some men are just plain arseholes who don't appreciate everything good that's right in front of them. Same goes for women. Furthermore, my sex drive is MUCH higher than my partners is, who is twenty-four years my senior. I love him deeply and while it can be frustrating, i'd never give up what we have for sex. Even he tells me that I'm the adult in the relationship. He acts like someone my own age. Great - you've served in the army. You've seen a lot and done a lot that not everyone could do. However, choosing a career path outwith the military does not define a persons contributions to the world. I would not choose a military career because I've done my research and want no part in this war, because I could not live with blood on my hands should I take a life, I want to be a mother that is around for her children one day. That is the life I choose. I have many military friends and while I respect them for it, Id never want that lifestyle for myself - whether I was scared of it or not. Lastly, yes, you have been through a lot and have reason to be depressed. As do a lot of people. I was sexually abused for years - I lost my virginity at six years old and spent most of my adolescence in mental health services. Now I am building a positive life for myself. Your "holier than thou" attitude does you no favours, neither does your ignorance or condescension towards younger peoples or people outwith the armed forces. You are not above everyone and you are not completely right in this instance.
dangousity 21
Tons of women's heads in the clouds here lol
Papaya1234 9
Dump his butt!
imtooshy 18
Obviously I come on this site for laughs, this didn't make me do that. I'm sorry your husband did this to you. I'll never understand what's wrong with this generation, it's like nobody takes marriage or relationships seriously anymore :-(
Teyros 24
Maybe it's just some of the wrong people are the lucky ones to get a relationship :|
lollypop30001 19
@Vinnie when a girl cheats on a guy do you think the same it's his fault for not keeping her happy. Maybe the OP Husband is a man ***** and it doesn't matter what the op does.
Vinnie500 14
Yes, it is partially his fault, because he is not meeting ALL her needs or she wouldn't cheat. What I am saying is simply this, if ALL a persons needs (man or woman) are met at home then they won't cheat. The ONLY reason people cheat is to fulfill a need that isn't being fulfilled at home(real or perceived).
TheBrochure 22
#38 - I'll hand it to you for "real or perceived," however if it happens to be a perception of OP's husband's (or any potential cheater), then there is no way that OP could have known she isn't satisfying her husband without him saying something; therefore she may not deserve it for certain (by the logic you've presented).
brandoneyez1 25
Oh I know your on that polygamy show! Congrats... No? Or maybe he. Was a cheating hoe.... Your choice. Lol
mollyjynxjax 28
The first your should be you're
mollyjynxjax 28
The first your should be you're Edit: sorry, my phone posted this twice
imtooshy 18
@Vinnie, are you actually serious with THAT comment?! Smfh @ you as I know too many stupid people who were satisfied in EVERY way at home but still cheated, always thinking the "grass is greener on the other side" when in fact, it's just weeds. Please don't justify cheating because those who do it have no self respect and no respect for their partner as well. If someone's unhappy, be honest and leave before jumping into someone else's bed. SMFH big time.
Vinnie500 14
@tooshy, you must have your head buried in the sand. Evidently you have not read ALL of my comments and replies. I SAID it goes both ways. Stop getting butt hurt before you read everything I had to say