Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
Today, I needed emergency work on my house, so I’ve been taking wine, beer, and chocolates to my neighbours as an apology for the noise and dust. Later, one of the husbands came round and punched me for showing him up, because he hasn’t given his wife chocolates in years, so she’s mad at him and he blames me. FML
Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
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Top comments
Shawnie Gallant 24
Now, why do YOU clean it up?
RichardPencil 32
Move in to a hotel or with your parents or a friend until he puts the house back together and checks in to AA. Otherwise, this will happen over and over.
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Comments (31)
James Acosta 8
I would be pissed off if I had a ceiling fan on my wall too... But you are ******* stupid if you let it happen more than once! Either leave, kick him out, or shut the **** up. If you are willing to settle and clean it up. Then why bitch to random people who don't really even give a shit about you.
Ash Grundeman 8
Your husband’s garbage
siggy_mcsigx 22
**** that shit.
Steo420 6
I've never seen a ceiling fan on the wall before, very interesting.
bear 10
Seriously? Wake up and get out. If you don’t leave then you deserve to clean up!
Mungolikecandy 19
Maybe do not clean up but realise he has significant drink issues and needs help as it can turn from wrecking the house to attacking someone quite easily.
Late For Breakfast 19
Why is the ceiling fan on the wall?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
What everybody else said, get out of there before he turns his aggression onto you.
AmbrosiaFan 19
So are you going to keep enabling this behavior until he starts getting violent with you? He needs to go...
doomsdayaddams 6
The word is “enabling.” Please go to Al-Anon. This is also dangerous for you.