Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML
Today, my husband drunkenly confessed that he has a shit fetish and wants to watch me take a dump in the bathtub while he jerks off. Guess him saying he "didn't like kinky things" was a lie, then. FML
Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML
Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML
Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
Today, my husband insisted a man can orgasm without cumming if he just clenches hard enough, so of course he went ahead and tried. He got such a powerful cramp in his groin, he shat himself on our cream carpet. Then as I tried to help, he came anyway, right into my fucking eye. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dalink 24
So so so disgusting... And unhygienic.
Black_Rose97 9
well isnt that a load of crap... anyone?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (188)
naiveprophet 15
Ok, considering the way the bathroom smells when my boyfriend is finished taking a dump, I can only imagine the horror of being in there WITH him while that's happening, and at ground zero? No way, I don't think so. I enjoy giving my boyfriend head, but NEVER while he's pooping. What is wrong with people?
jnchristensen 8
sooooo.... you're still dating your husband, based on post name? just curious.
skyeyez9 25
Tell him only if he will go down on you first while you're taking a shit. He will hopefully realize how disgusting his request is and drop the issue. That type of request is nasty, and probably only happens when bitches are forced to do it.
skyeyez9 25
*prison Bitches
mattrd_fml 31
omg there's a term for that... fyl op
Ryodin 11
Okay that's just... no. That- no. I pretty much support any kind of kink but that's the line. Good for you telling him no.
JennNoVa 8
After a stunt like that you should hold out in the BJ department to teach him a lesson! Nasty!
nerdlove422 14
Well that's an interesting fetish...
Epikouros 32
Please divorce him - I want to marry this guy!
middlenamefrank 8
So you're "dating a country blumpkin" and your HUSBAND wants you to go down on him while he's on the toilet? I'm sorry, it's well past time to call BS. If you're going to make stuff up to post on a website, at least make up a more consistent lie.
Omniprism 15
Haha both? That's funny. I don't think I could do that either and why doesn't he just **********.