Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend had bought me sexy lingerie for our anniversary. However, they're for for a bigger bust. When I asked if I could return it for the right size, he asked me to get a boob job to fit the bra instead. FML
Today, I went out to a store. I didn't have a bra on under my shirt, but some stranger offered to buy me one, because she didn't like the fact that my nipples were hard, and her husband was able to see them. FML
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
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Top comments
SusanBieber 10
Don't worry, almost every girl's boobs are not identical. It's natural
astralvagan 20
You should ask him to show you his penis and then say the same thing to him
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Comments (122)
HelloSirs 14
And in most guys, one ******** is bigger than the other. It all works out for the better.
OrangeKnife 10
Mine are :/ but no problem.
ZombieSnoopy 9
Sometimes the size is really unnoticeable so i think OPs bf had skill or OPs boobs are reaaaaallly different in size.....
skoob1 12
I beg to differ! "Bigger" insinuates large to begin with, and I can tell you first -hand- that is not true in all cases.
HelloSirs 14
@92 I think you are thinking of the word "big". Bigger insinuates a comparison, as in "That tic tac is bigger than my penis!" Not necessarily meaning either is large at all.
Enslaved 38
Should name them so you'll know which one he wants to "Come out to play? :P
HelloSirs 14
Name them something like Titan and Cretin. Just because they sound cool.
astralvagan 20
Pinky and The Brain!!
Enslaved 38
Someone here on FML (not sure whom) once said her BF named her mixed matched boobies "Biggie Smalls". I'm still laughing from that comment.(:
HelloSirs 14
Rocky and Bullwinkle? Tom and Jerry?
theycallmekitty 13
Mine are named BaRACK and BOOBama.
Kkkdawg 27
Omfg my best friend used to have a non existent boob. Like one was a regular sized boob and the other was a pancake(she had an implant put in, but anyway...) everyone that knew about it called her biggie smalls. I apologize for the irrelevancy, just made me think of it.
melbaby112 11
That's when you take a mirror and shove it in his face ;) reaction would be priceless!
Marcelb 17
You want me to treat you like a game? Sure, I'll play with you.. XD
oj101 33
When you're having sex next time, tell him to penetrate his *thing* in your vayjay when it already is. Then you're even with him.
brackaman 18
That's just retarded. I have no idea why you even said that
starcrossddream 14
I think #19 was trying to refer to the ever amusing "is it in yet?" comment.
oj101 33
#19 - You're correct, thanks for clarifying my comment. I couldn't think of how to say it in a short way - thus making my comment a pleonasm. I just gave you a thumbs up :)
fordneagles 34
*penis ******* It's ok, you can use adult words on the internet. But at least you got 'your' and 'you're' correct
emilyjgraham 34
oj101, you are 19 so are you telling yourself that you're correct? :/ Also, all women know their breasts are different sizes so I feel your suggestion is a little harsh for something so common. It's so easy to get a man doubt his penis size and it could take a while to get his self esteem back!
oj101 33
Oh god. I was referring to #36. I was tired when I posted my comment. Surprisingly weak comments for me. I guess I'll have to own my stuff.
PhannyPack09 8
Teehee
Reaper5639 16
It's natural that one is bigger than the other. Take it as a compliment.
BrandiLush 31
My right boob is bigger than my left one, it keeps popping out of my DD bra :(
Shrike 24
Let's be honest for a second - you only posted so you could brag about your supposed boob size, didn't you?
BrandiLush 31
Damn right I did!
BrandiLush 31
Actually it really bothers me. I just recently noticed it and I've been very self conscious about it. I feel OP's pain.
willbur73q 7
I bet this is some creepy old guy, and not even a girl.
BrandiLush 31
I just checked, I'm female.
baby_frenchie 6
He wanted front row tickets to see 'Biggie Smalls'! lmfao! xD
ka1729 14
Boobs are sisters not twins.
OrangeKnife 10
Boobies
deadboyparis 3
Same thing happens to me. You're not alone.