Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML
Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML
Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML
Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, after my mom moved our senile grandma in with us rather than find her a care home, she wakes up screaming at least once a night, and usually screams for a good few minutes. Then this morning she started throwing plates at me because she thought I was a criminal. It's only been four days. FML
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Top comments
xAustinZx 0
just be glad he didn't have a flame thrower
flipstar530 0
BONDING TIME!!
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Comments (138)
mk58 31
No, 53, I believe you are referring to yourself because you seem to have difficulty understanding humor.
ChurroGalactico 0
Hide his heart pills >:D Jk but haha fyl xP
willyboy1234 0
are you ******* retarded
bignasty29 0
Never take him out for Chinese!!!
ADub55 0
id suggest opening your eyes fully while around him
ddoug293 3
well stop looking like a jap! ahaha
sweet_candy_ 17
He might be having bad dreams just stay away from him at night.
elmosworld11 0
hahahahahaha
nerdsgetmehot 23
If I were you, I would invest in a baseball helmet.
elmosworld11 0
bahahaha are you stupid?