Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML
Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML
Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, my grandma told me she likes to clean the house naked every day. I'm staying there all next week. FML
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Top comments
peacelovecoffee 20
That makes more sense than the real story, lol.
Zestus 19
he's not?
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Comments (133)
purrypie 9
This actually happened in the Boondocks Christmas Episode, although it was a little girl who thought of the exact theory with the exact words
nevereyes 31
Yule (the real name for christmas) has nothing to do with Christianity or "Christ"
KylarStern19 7
Seems legit to me? Atleast she'll never go around telling kids the lies about him not existing.
Helldemon 32
So it's only okay to lie if it's to make Christianity look good? lol
Rozay333 36
In regards to your username OP, i am religious but i still find that theory completely ridiculous.
MarkToast 19
im Christian, but it really hugs me when people do stuff like that. my friend's dad is a pastor and while he was growing up, he wasbt allowed to believe in santa. hus parents told him that jesus gave the presents. it takes away from a good childhood belief
ppak 12
If you're not catholic why are you celebrating christmas?
salsacat 6
I'm Jewish and I celebrate Christmas
Demoniq 25
When you are part of a big family or a very religious one it really is difficult breaking away from that fuss without being ostracized... We don't celebrate Christmas as we are an atheist household, but we are lucky to have small families who are either like-minded or not very involved in our lives. We simply have 'Appreciation Day' for the trading of gifts because of all the specials, bonus pay and days off from work - why not take advantage :)
Tousibakun 5
Actually, there are places in the world where this is genuinely true! In the Czech Republic, Christmas presents are brought on Christmas eve (so with time difference it's effectively almost a whole day before the US) by baby Jesus, Ježíšek - who, of course, is just as real as Santa Claus. On the other hand, the word for Christmas (Vánoce) has nothing to do with Christianity, and the Czechs are a mostly atheist people , yet we really have no problem accepting that it's baby Jesus that we get your toys from. After all, a child is gonna have far more understanding of what kind of stuff to get kids, so in a way it might even make more sense than St. Nick. We just lack the cuddly Rudolph.
RoyBar352 1
Christmas isn't even a Christian holiday...smh
FrankHotpants 31
Right...but only the good Christians with disposable income.
mischiefkel 17
Um... Get over it? This isn't fml worthy at all. Suck it up.