Love: Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:55 - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 356

You deserved it 5 592

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Same thing different taste

By tryon777 - 29/07/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 317

You deserved it 5 088

By halza - 30/05/2016 11:03 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 417

You deserved it 973

Shame on you!

By Bjax - 11/10/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 723

You deserved it 392

Out of it

By Anonymous - 29/07/2021 04:01

Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 219

Oh, hai!

By Anonymous - 25/05/2020 20:00

Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 528

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 649

You deserved it 4 567

By thanks. - 28/01/2017 04:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 956

You deserved it 818

By Shitty Boss Shitty Job - 15/06/2013 05:41 - United States - Davenport

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 020

You deserved it 6 565

By Wally - 08/05/2009 15:20 - Canada

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 341

You deserved it 5 746

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 963

You deserved it 2 596

Next

Top comments

BimmerDriver 23

Tuesday 4 June 2013 1:14

Isn't the feeling of knowing you have more time to sleep one of the best feelings ever though?!?

yoloswagg54 9

Tuesday 4 June 2013 1:13

FYL, falling back asleep is impossible for me :(

Comments

ninjalovin 8

Tuesday 4 June 2013 3:19

Time to put her to sleep, mate.

Bcfrmkc816 17

Tuesday 4 June 2013 4:03

How considerate of her she deserves thank you satisfaction

xkncas 8

Tuesday 4 June 2013 18:19

Yeah, the satisfaction of a black eye/pimp slap. :-p

Jemm_fml 29

Tuesday 4 June 2013 4:09

Hey Bert, are you sleeping?!

captainleezy 10

Tuesday 4 June 2013 4:20

If my old lady did this to me, she wouldn't be able to wake up in the morning:)

badguy500 4

Tuesday 4 June 2013 4:27

Should of ****** her ass that would of kept her from doing that again

anders09ma 7

Tuesday 4 June 2013 4:27

Lol that sounds like something that would happen in a tv show XD Girls; were idiots XD

wubu18 6

Tuesday 4 June 2013 4:28

Do that to her next time. She will understand the pain.

onorexveritas 23

Tuesday 4 June 2013 4:47

atleast you knew how much time you had left

Allennis44 16

Tuesday 4 June 2013 5:11

Might as well ask her to chop the morning wood then.

Quiet_one 22

Tuesday 4 June 2013 5:23

Oh man, there are a lot of things I'll tolerate, but messing with my sleep is not one of them. If my boyfriend did that I'd be pissed- more than once and I'd dump his ass. That's some grade A passive aggressive crap. I had a roommate like that once- that friendship did not survive.

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The Top

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 775

You deserved it 5 102

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

The Top

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 496

You deserved it 6 567

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 501

You deserved it 13 096

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 011

You deserved it 8 444

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 419

You deserved it 10 295

Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 173

You deserved it 1 969

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 563

You deserved it 4 239