Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
This right here is proof that chivalry is not dead
mansfield_j 27
Hey atleast you made her feel better, sucks you crapped yourself but it's all well worth it to keep your girl happy in my book.
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Comments (128)
aoh27 6
Well at least your a great boyfriend
ZeTripod 10
The name of the FML is great
rigley06 12
Hmmm i fail to see the FML i mean even though you shit yourself she didn't notice and it seems that you would have cheered her up.
justinsoren 13
At least you got a little work out in
RagingBull527 6
Hi
TwentyFourBeerz 18
When you shat yourself, the smell didn't give it away ???
shutupshane12 12
That could have been a shitty situation
SlaySzn 4
Great lad
reaxion 25
The human body is sometimes a real pain in the arse! Good that you did such a nice thing for your lady though.
LaceUp19XX 7
its horrible, I know.. but I can't seem to stop the tears streaming down my cheeks as I laugh..