Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring... - FML

By Notthemaid - 30/9/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56369

You deserved it

2858

Tweet

Share

Social distancing gone wrong

Deep-seated resentment

Tense

By TOOshort - 23/4/2019 16:00

Today, several of my apartment complex neighbors walked right by me as I struggled to clean the inches thick, icy snow off of my SUV. I’m 4’11. Not one person offered to assist me, even after I slipped and fell several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1484

You deserved it

2127

Tweet

Share

By One less friend... - 17/5/2018 13:00 - United States - Schnecksville

Today, thinking my ex-gothic friend was going through another "wear all black" phase, I walked up to her and jokingly asked who died. Her father. Her father died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2710

You deserved it

3787

Tweet

Share

By bobby - 14/3/2010 03:17 - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend thinks I'm too high maintenance because I have a chronic illness which requires frequent hospitalization. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34553

You deserved it

3475

Tweet

Share

By housedoctor - 22/2/2014 11:01 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40747

You deserved it

6884

Tweet

Share

By KayIsKiwi99 - 29/8/2016 19:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7348

You deserved it

16061

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 07:18 - United States

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36953

You deserved it

4628

Tweet

Share

By jordy1995 - 16/7/2011 04:25 - United States

Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39323

You deserved it

3207

Tweet

Share

By Jackedup - 18/5/2011 07:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72309

You deserved it

4953

Tweet

Share

By awkwardology - 27/9/2013 07:56 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

I agree, your life sucks

43770

You deserved it

3438

Tweet

Share

By bad doc - 1/10/2019 04:00

Save Me

Today, I had to repeat myself multiple times and dumb down all my anatomical terms and symptoms while describing my illness to my doctor. I want to switch, but my insurance won’t cover another one for at least 60 more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1325

You deserved it

136

Tweet

Share

By mvp - 26/7/2009 23:51 - United States

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43809

You deserved it

3418

Tweet

Share

By Matti - 17/8/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3083

You deserved it

214

Tweet

Share

By Rachal - 30/1/2012 01:27 - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26684

You deserved it

10855

Tweet

Share

By Fat and Embarrassed - 26/9/2016 02:09 - United States - Palmdale

Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12668

You deserved it

1331

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/1/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57002

You deserved it

13004

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/12/2010 21:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34407

You deserved it

2837

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/12/2011 18:37 - United States

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32424

You deserved it

5845

Tweet

Share

By a-mishunderstanding - 8/8/2011 04:07

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24988

You deserved it

2836

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25512

You deserved it

2002

Tweet

Share

By Sarah91 - 13/10/2008 08:23

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

I agree, your life sucks

115252

You deserved it

16547

Tweet

Share

By jdawn99 - 22/10/2013 14:24 - United States - Arkansas City

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47511

You deserved it

3194

Tweet

Share

By praise the prenup - 3/10/2012 00:04 - United States - Delaware

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36677

You deserved it

2997

Tweet

Share

By Arrgh - 27/5/2009 07:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9908

You deserved it

79760

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/2/2011 13:43 - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks

42009

You deserved it

5308

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/1/2016 18:04 - United States - Newtown Square

Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21830

You deserved it

6899

Tweet

Share

By Sara - 3/5/2016 16:52 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12542

You deserved it

2093

Tweet

Share

By - 27/1/2017 00:00

Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer saying they were having trouble getting ahold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to the place and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7475

You deserved it

463

Tweet

Share

By majorlyturnedoff - 21/8/2012 03:02 - United States

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31151

You deserved it

3289

Tweet

Share

By leelee50 - 10/2/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, my on-and-off boyfriend of 8 years asked me to cheer him up. I told him that I'm in love with him. He said "Oh, I just wanted a blowjob." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45031

You deserved it

9530

Tweet

Share

By SingleSara. - 2/3/2010 06:07 - Canada

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35897

You deserved it

3399

Tweet

Share

By catattack78 - 21/10/2010 14:48 - United States

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30216

You deserved it

3984

Tweet

Share

By Shamdog48 - 11/4/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34731

You deserved it

3714

Tweet

Share

By noporn4u - 3/10/2020 19:01 - United States - Kaukauna

Big bastard boss

Today, my time off request was rejected, and my boss promptly took the day off himself, claiming he has people coming to work on his house. We work from home. The day in question is my 5-year wedding anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1142

You deserved it

90

Tweet

Share

By -__-" - 29/9/2013 05:45 - United States - Vancouver

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48439

You deserved it

4534

Tweet

Share

By ugly - 26/6/2011 07:02 - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41875

You deserved it

4430

Tweet

Share

By confusedmofo - 29/7/2013 06:35 - Indonesia

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55659

You deserved it

8110

Tweet

Share

By TheKingDavis - 14/2/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33984

You deserved it

3167

Tweet

Share

By jackie89 - 10/8/2014 19:26 - United Kingdom - Redruth

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57375

You deserved it

7402

Tweet

Share

By camerashyguy - 20/9/2014 03:14 - United States - Longview

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36797

You deserved it

8856

Tweet

Share

By BriarFace - 29/3/2016 01:56 - United States - Springfield

Today, I put up a sign asking motorcyclists to slow down near horses, as the noise can spook them. While I was riding near the sign, a biker slowed to read it, looked at me, then revved his engine loudly and raced off. My horse bucked me off into some brambles and bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20846

You deserved it

2142

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By mj2123 | 0

#596478 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:10

Sounds like mom is the one who is mentally disturbed...

By redbluegreen | 40

#596467 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:07

And you still live with a crazy woman because?

COMMENTS

By Sorrel | 0

#596458 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:05

That's....weird?

Reply

polkadot1196 | 0

#596504 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:21

Yes! A housekeeping bill for every time you've cleaned the house, and then move out. Charge her a crazy amount of money an hour!

Reply

fmlmystic | 4

#596556 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:45

copied fml heres real link http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=25541

By redbluegreen | 40

#596467 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:07

And you still live with a crazy woman because?

Reply

genius_man16 | 0

#598180 - Thursday 1 October 2009 22:25

My question exactly. Just move out, you could probably get your fiance back with some explaining so just move in with him, or move in together to a new place.

By Joe2794 | 0

#596472 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:08

your mom fails at life.

By Keke1992 | 0

#596473 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:08

You should have just approached your fiance in person after you found out.

You should also probably move out of your house. Soon.

By mj2123 | 0

#596478 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:10

Sounds like mom is the one who is mentally disturbed...

By ivals | 2

#596481 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:11

Your mom is a fucking bitch...no respect

By Erindub | 0

#596487 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:14

Your mom is crazy. I'd move out to my own place if I were you, man or no man

By zeal | 0

#596499 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:18

That sucks majorly, just move out and tell her it's your life now, you don't have to do everything she wants you to do.

And I hope your fiance didn't seriously believe her lies, 'cause if he did, that's a REAL FML.

By vendeep | 9

#596501 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:19

seems toooooooo fake!

By frannieshameless | 0

#596507 - Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:22

She sounds jealous =/ that's so rude. You should talk to your fiancee yourself.