Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML
Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML
Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML
Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, one of my dogs spilled half my coffee at home. My other dog drank the rest of it. Went to Starbucks later, picked my coffee up off the counter, and the lid popped off, spilling all over the counter, floor and my hand. While they were making me a new one, I dropped my sandwich on the floor. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
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Top comments
MURIKKA 11
"******* son of a bitch. I'll teach him to leave me home alone!"
Dargoria 1
Well, doesn't he have a fancy diet.
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Comments (101)
ellytoad 13
What is WITH dogs, seriously?
cadyt1234 11
Fur, puke, poop, burps, huge messes, awful farts, and lots of love :) hahaha that's what's with dogs. OH yes. Also, depending on the dog, a loyal protector to fend off predators.
Kingbreezy04 10
Damn she ate a broom? Who do you have as a pet, Clifford the big red dog?
SeepingSarcasm 7
Hope it wasn't the Nimbus2001 broom? I've heard those are rather expensive!
Kingbreezy04 10
@54 you sound perfect.....
missmarybell 4
Ho
cougar41 8
Have you tried feeding your dog?
cadyt1234 11
That is something that my dog does all the time
KiddNYC1O 22
Lassie gon' crazy!
lisakin 13
Try putting chocolate in your trash. I'm sure that'll get it to stop(:
SkyyEatsAirplane 11
Sure, if you want to come home and find your dog dead.
brocolli_50 0
This is why I don't own one!!! Tooo much trouble