Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my boyfriend's dad called me a whore and said I'm trying to use his son and "steal" his virginity for my own needs. My boyfriend has had sex with over 10 girls and I'm a virgin. FML
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, my father came to my sister's place and yelled at her, "I knew it, you're such a whore!" because she slept with her new boyfriend. He's her first boyfriend in five years, since my father scared her previous boyfriend because of my father's possessive behavior. My sister is 34. FML
Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML
Today, my wedding celebration came to an awkward pause when my dad slapped my mom across the face and called her a whore after she admitted to having an affair. FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
marcranger 29
Your dad is aware of what century it is, right?
LizetteBerenice 22
Ugh, double standards :/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (145)
ynag 0
Don't be a *****
Jasti 12
unfortunately that's just how father's work. I'm 24 and still get scolded by my dad when it comes to anything involving the opposite sex.
brennanking73195 1
daddy sounds sexist
Salty_Sea_Dog 1
A wise man once said... "A key that can open any lock is a useful key. A lock that can be opened by any key is a broken lock."
MiaPine 12
Mothers are the opposite. My boyfriend's mother let her daughter's boyfriends live with them and sleep with her when she was 16 but won't let me stay the night on their couch when I have no other way home. I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 19 -_-
greeneyedx 23
In my boyfriend's family, his younger sister is babied. In fact, my boyfriend likes to know all the guys she talks to. (And I do mean friends!) And he's SO worried about her dating and having sex. But him? His last relationship ended absolutely horribly, like cops had to get involved because his ex framed him for stuff, he's had more "one night stands" than relationships (neither number is a lot though), and we started having sex before he was legal.
Nissi 17
Why are there so many YDI's?
Kempeth 5
Because the internet is full of assholes
Kog_fml 4
A key that opens many locks is a master key, a lock that opens for many keys is useless ur dad was just giving u advice
imonheretoooften 16
guys jack off into condoms it's not always for sex.
nutellacake 12
I'm sorry your dad is a sexist pig. Unfortunately we don't get to choose our parents.