Miscellaneous: Today, my brother was playing one of those old street fighter... - FML

27/11/2015 02:32 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, my brother was playing one of those old street fighter games. He suddenly asked me what "K.O." meant. I told him it meant "Knocked Out," but he started getting mad at me because "'knocked' isn't spelled with a 'k'". He's 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 112

You deserved it 1 499

Late term

Hiding from the drama

Time for a change

19/10/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 719

You deserved it 2 651

27/10/2015 10:28 - United States - Urbana

Today, I found out all six classes I'm taking have finals on the same day. This is my first semester in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 178

You deserved it 2 330

13/02/2011 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 601

You deserved it 5 470

23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 530

You deserved it 3 099

Question Time

By embarrassed - 03/01/2010 06:53 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my boyfriend's family get together, his cousin got really drunk and decided to ask my boyfriend when he was planning on proposing to me, loud enough for everyone to hear. An awkward silence was followed by my boyfriend's mother, who clearly said "hopefully never." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 365

You deserved it 2 784

24/08/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 389

You deserved it 5 329

Don't tread on me

By Kate - 23/04/2009 14:09 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 757

You deserved it 3 196

14/09/2013 15:04 - Canada - Whitecourt

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 365

You deserved it 3 010

22/08/2012 09:57 - France

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 256

You deserved it 3 824

09/11/2009 09:12 - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 994

You deserved it 3 789

Pennies From Heaven

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 04:02

Today, I bought some shoes, but pissed off the lady working at the store by returning them 5 minutes later. She yelled at me and ripped my receipt in half, everyone in the store watched as she threw a handful of pennies at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 467

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 736

You deserved it 5 935

14/06/2009 20:39 - United States

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 14 275

Kids will be kids

By bad influence - 29/03/2021 15:30 - United States

Today, I've been getting terrible backlash from the neighbors after I forbade my kids from hanging out with one of the neighborhood kids. They think I dislike her because she’s trans. The truth is she’s rude, disrespectful, has been in several fights and had run ins with the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 65

19/07/2009 14:13 - Philippines

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 776

You deserved it 11 726

Slipped up

By hate my job - 24/09/2021 20:00

Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 859

15/07/2017 15:30 - New Zealand

Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip 2 massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 464

You deserved it 3 054

My alarm

By Anonymous - 20/02/2020 14:00

Spicy

Today, yet again, I woke up at the sound of my parents having sex like apes, and couldn't get back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 218

13/09/2009 17:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 242

You deserved it 4 494

05/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got into a car accident and totaled my car. Also today, someone bought themselves $600 worth of office furniture online with my bank info. My bank doesn’t believe me so they won’t help me get the money back. I'm broke and carless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 154

You deserved it 206

15/07/2009 04:01 - United States

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 732

You deserved it 14 354

29/12/2011 08:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 711

You deserved it 3 088

28/04/2016 22:04 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I learned that you should always check the inside of your guitar to avoid a snake bite. Nope, strings don't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 538

You deserved it 820

21/06/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 113

You deserved it 6 237

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 229

20/03/2011 21:40 - United States

Today, I found out that the sleazy guy I met with a few days ago decided to move into my home town to "be closer" to me. I've already told him I'm not interested in him, but he still continues to ask me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 778

You deserved it 7 098

Trust

By Anonymous - 14/07/2021 11:01

Spicy

Today, I found out from some guy that he and my wife had been having an affair for over year. She confessed to everything, and said they had already broken it off. She also admitted that she would've never mentioned it to me if I'd never found out on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 71

07/06/2009 00:38 - Canada

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 204

You deserved it 7 319

That relationship is toast

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 18:01

Today, my girlfriend cheated on me and still played the victim. She went and told her friends that I didn't give her freedom. She said I didn't let her buy a toaster. We had an airfryer with a toast option! FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 121

06/08/2009 10:10 - Australia

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 891

You deserved it 3 328

08/09/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 097

You deserved it 3 307

Rebel without a cause.

By wowie - 21/10/2019 20:00

Today, my ex threatened to not return my things that she still has. She even went on to say she will burn them, because she hates me and I "broke her heart". Not only has it been over half a year since we broke up, but she was the one who broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 126

15/10/2018 12:00

Today, I helped an older guy with his safe deposit box. He said it's perfect for holding his ex-wife's remains and laughed. I laughed because I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 569

You deserved it 272

02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 274 809

You deserved it 88 014

18/06/2014 06:37 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 142

You deserved it 13 363

22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turns to my dog and says "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our new dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 522

You deserved it 3 218

08/02/2013 03:58 - Canada

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 219

You deserved it 29 729

10/05/2009 20:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 369

You deserved it 127 791

21/09/2010 04:49 - United States

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 313

You deserved it 81 151

16/11/2012 15:52 - Sweden - Bromma

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 529

You deserved it 3 949

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

alexanderjoe10 17

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:18

Well now you know what to get him for Christmas.

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:23

It's not even knocked out its knock out

Comments

alexanderjoe10 17

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:18

Well now you know what to get him for Christmas.

EnigmaticSoul 17

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:24

A padded helmet?

countryb_cth 38

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 19:04

An education?

CoppertoneNicole 6

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 20:11

A dictionary?

Lalala579121 27

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 20:31

Hooked on Phonics?

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 20:51

A dictionary?

christinaruth 14

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 20:55

All seasons of the Reading Rainbow

hersheykisses511 18

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 21:53

A llama?

JD134 24

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 21:58

Racing Games?

Send a private message

Saturday 28 November 2015 0:31

An ass whipping, and down for the count.

DarthTaco351 12

Send a private message

Saturday 28 November 2015 4:35

A speak and spell?

Send a private message

Saturday 28 November 2015 8:08

The missing k?

Send a private message

Saturday 28 November 2015 17:40

Special-K :D

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:18

What is wrong with the youth of today

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:30

Statistics suggest otherwise. We're a generation of people who have a text-based presences the likes of which hasn't existed before. Studies find that heavy IMers and SMSers do better on grammar and spelling tests. This is FML; it represents a minority of idiots who make it into stories. The posters of these stories, on the that hand, tend to be rather eloquent.

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:33

*other hand Oh, the irony. It burns.

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 21:15

Oh man, that irony is funny. And I don't think it's SMS'ers who speak properly, but the ones who speak with grammar, as most of them go: "brb gtg ttyl"

oiler 21

Send a private message

Saturday 28 November 2015 1:16

Dude your 22, you're a youth

ThatOneChick856 36

Saturday 28 November 2015 19:36

If you honestly think that the majority of 17 year olds (or any "youth") are THIS stupid, you obviously live under a rock.

hellphone_fml 37

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:20

to be fair nocked is a word.

Dynosaur_dollie 38

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:31

While it is in fact a word it has to do with archery and nothing to do with the weird knocked. I also highly doubt the brother was thinking of nocked the archery term.

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:23

It's not even knocked out its knock out

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 19:22

Actually K.O. Was first the ticker tag for the Coca Cola company. So it should really mean "Coca-Cola."

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:25

Ask him if he knows how to spell "escape" That one always gets the stupid ones

Kukironosuke 16

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:25

knot very nowledgeable is he

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:40

Your wrong too it knock out not knocked out

Dynosaur_dollie 38

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:43

yes and its you're not your....

countryb_cth 38

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 19:19

And it's not it

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 21:16

And . not .

lexred 30

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:58

Your brother must be mentally retarded.

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 18:59

Your brother is going to have a gnarly time becoming a czar or knight. I hope he comes up with some kind of mnemonic device to help him remember.

lexred 30

Send a private message

Friday 27 November 2015 19:02

May I know what your comment is supposed to mean?

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 29

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 457