By suuuucks - United States Today, I got my new work schedule. I really need the hours. The boss says he can't give me more because the economy is bad. However, he did find enough hours to hire his son last week. This week? Most of my hours were erased and given to the new employee; his daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 31345 You deserved it 2269 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By H05T1L3 - United States Today, I woke up at 10:30 feeling great and saying to myself, "Thank goodness it's the weekend!" I then realized it's Friday and I missed my final. FML I agree, your life sucks 20873 You deserved it 37097 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brittany - United States - Kerrville Today, I failed my driving test. I rammed into the parallel parking poles, ran a stop sign, and stopped at a cross intersection. My instructor called me an idiot. FML I agree, your life sucks 7262 You deserved it 56379 221 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By scarred_sibling - United States Caught red handed Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML I agree, your life sucks 39275 You deserved it 3022 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/2/2021 16:58 - United States Capitalism, baby! Today, it's day three of my dad not shutting up and still complaining about the Super Bowl commercials being "too woke". FML I agree, your life sucks 661 You deserved it 179 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Happyunlucky - United States - Andover Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML I agree, your life sucks 61764 You deserved it 3333 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fat and Embarrassed - United States - Palmdale Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML I agree, your life sucks 12684 You deserved it 1333 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Peter - United States - Boca Raton Liar liar, poop on fire Today, I was working at the restaurant where I wash dishes. Everyone thinks I'm a tech intern. My buddy Go Synco-ed me and so I had to capture whatever I was doing at the moment. I ran to the restroom, took my tee off and took a pic, stating, "I'm at home taking a shower." There was a guy behind me pooping. FML I agree, your life sucks 1831 You deserved it 5149 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thanks Trump - United States - New York Today, my mom parked in a handicapped space because, "the Spanish people are taking over everything." FML I agree, your life sucks 18229 You deserved it 1531 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trollbot13 - India - Hyderabad Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my boss's words, "Abided by company policy to such an extent that customers were starting to hate me." FML I agree, your life sucks 12909 You deserved it 1257 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML I agree, your life sucks 47178 You deserved it 4414 201 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By joi9496 Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML I agree, your life sucks 5209 You deserved it 396 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 38677 You deserved it 5531 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Turdfoot - United States - Prosper Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 33304 You deserved it 4382 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto Just a dream Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML I agree, your life sucks 1782 You deserved it 196 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was driving home, it was 80 degrees out. Making a rare attempt to be eco-friendly, I turned off the A/C and lowered the windows. A bee then flew in through the window, hit my cheek, and stung me. That's what I get for attempting to be eco-friendly. FML I agree, your life sucks 46960 You deserved it 11278 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PLU - Canada Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML I agree, your life sucks 32840 You deserved it 5686 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Mixing it up Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 23758 You deserved it 48686 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WhyGod Today, I got a diaper rash from a pad. FML I agree, your life sucks 8641 You deserved it 1039 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By J - United Kingdom Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML I agree, your life sucks 33033 You deserved it 6838 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML I agree, your life sucks 54067 You deserved it 4850 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Late Today, my boss at my new job yelled at me for being 15 minutes early to work. Last week he yelled at me for being late for my shift when I arrived 5 minutes early. He's considering this my final warning before I'm fired. FML I agree, your life sucks 11093 You deserved it 696 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lily - United States Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said he needed to be with someone smart so that he could impress his parents. I just got accepted into medical school. When I pointed that out to him, he added that he needed to be with someone attractive. FML I agree, your life sucks 84440 You deserved it 4648 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/2/2021 14:01 - Australia Thanks, I hate it Today, I received my first dick pic from my boyfriend. Problem is, we broke up 3 weeks ago and his next message said, "Oops, sorry, wrong person." FML I agree, your life sucks 877 You deserved it 124 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dani0810 - Canada - Sudbury Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 35116 You deserved it 5469 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By moncheri1314 - France Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML I agree, your life sucks 26430 You deserved it 4429 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Hey Scratchy! Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML I agree, your life sucks 1407 You deserved it 162 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML I agree, your life sucks 51555 You deserved it 36232 204 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SkipBeatOtaku - 29/8/2020 23:02 Harsh Today, my estranged father died. No one bothered to tell me, and the only reason I found out was because his wife texted my sister. When I asked about the service, I was told I was no welcome in the state he had lived in, because I was no longer family. FML I agree, your life sucks 1398 You deserved it 310 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KingUrge - United States - Victorville Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML I agree, your life sucks 46307 You deserved it 9672 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OnlyMe - United States Today, I realized that I broke up with a man that loved me and was great in bed but was afraid of commitment, to be with a man that loves me, that is great in bed, and wants to be with me forever. So what's the problem? Now that we are committed, he won't get it on with me anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 10587 You deserved it 23272 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML I agree, your life sucks 37873 You deserved it 7207 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OweLotsaMoney - United States Today, I arrived at my college dorm. To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone. Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone. Guess who now owes the phone company all my money. FML I agree, your life sucks 47518 You deserved it 12195 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - United States Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML I agree, your life sucks 57756 You deserved it 3780 244 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By btswc - United States Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML I agree, your life sucks 37959 You deserved it 9639 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maximus - United States Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML I agree, your life sucks 10201 You deserved it 31074 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By S to the HIT - United States Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML I agree, your life sucks 18809 You deserved it 35604 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By j0natron - United States Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML I agree, your life sucks 8279 You deserved it 54320 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML I agree, your life sucks 15239 You deserved it 29014 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML I agree, your life sucks 33409 You deserved it 3999 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I finally got pulled into a threesome with the girl I've loved for years and another friend. She led the interaction with, "You only get to touch... I agree, your life sucks 75 You deserved it 12 1 Comments
Today, my boyfriend is once again mad at me because I refused to have shower sex with him. I’m too embarrassed to explain to him that ever since I could... I agree, your life sucks 364 You deserved it 87 7 Comments