Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for leaving on time. After months of management hounding us about our overtime, I get in trouble for doing what I was supposed to do. FML
Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting, and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML
Today, my boss continued to orchestrate behind the scenes with my colleagues to make me look bad for her lack of organization. Then she showed up 10 minutes late to a meeting, shared that she needed a vacation, and realized that she needed to micromanage less. I've been asking her to make that change for months. FML
Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML
Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mds9986 24
Hopefully he doesn't follow you into the bathroom to make sure you shake it right.
Tripartita 45
I can sympathize with him. Lights are really hard until you get this one weird trick down: if a light has been properly turned on, you'll notice the bulb in the circuit completed by the switch emitting light.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
AnalBunny 9
Sounds like he should lighten up.
Xeivan 15
DaFuq!?
Richard6036 13
Sounds more like you Boss has a big case of OCD, make sure All of the M & M's are separated by color
Fillie 26
I agree with others who said this sounds like OCD, so though I'm sure it's really frustrating for you to work with him, as someone with OCD I can say that it's not something that's easy to control. I have been through extensive CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and that has helped me control it, but I will still have problems confirming in my head that lights and taps are really turned off, even though it is logically obvious that they are. TLDR; even if it seems like he's being a jerk he might have a legitimate condition, so maybe try to be a bit understanding?
VaporeonSpleen 8
Yeah, that sounds like OCD. Looks like you're the one being the asshole, OP, sorry.
Self_Made_Man 8
At least you haven't had sex with him, which makes dumping him somewhat easier.
Self_Made_Man 8
Comment was meant for another thread "ex must have married roommate", but put in this thread in error.
Xion0014 20
Thats just OCD
GreyJedi 10
Meow.
luvlu444 24
anyone wanna define the "wrong" was to turn on a light?
GreyJedi 10
Using sticky fingers.
ShyVi 18
and the wrong way to turn it off is opening up the panel that the switch is on and cutting the wires.
writerchic85 26
I honestly would have gone off on him. Boss or not.
kbecks87 16
And then you, honestly, would have been fired