Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML
Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to come pick up her things, and while I waited I took a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML
Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML
Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML
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Top comments
MarilynI 9
Well that's awkward. Did he stay?
Imhere4fml 24
I'm guessing you thought the cop car in the street was just for show too ?
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Comments (141)
DjMonroe95 11
..and he stripped..right?
Uhscanherdarklee 10
He wasn't happy to see you, that actually was just a Baton in his pocket.
cheeechh 7
It could be worse! That's too bad you couldn't get him to strip though. Sorry OP.
pirate23 1
Are you sure your life isn't just a bad sitcom?
Reaper1984 13
thats what you get for making too much noise, you have the right to remain silent
SMHsohard 22
And you never thought to check his badge first? Really? What, did you think the car with the flashing light on top was going to Transform into a pole?
kxxjoejoexxk 8
Its ok your just a bit slow we'll get help for you. Not all cops have a car. If he did maybe he parked it farther down the street
SMHsohard 22
She can't tell the difference between a real cop and a stripper, you seem to think a cop is going to park his vehicle anywhere other than right in front of where his call is, and I'm the one who is "slow " and gets thumbed down and buried? Love it. By the way, it's "you're".
keepcalmandbacon 16
Actually... Yes.
maosquare 18
You do realise that there's a possibility that not everyone in the world lives in a big house just right at the side of the road, right? Some of us may live in a high rise building somewhere off the road.
therealafroninga 10
Haha, kid, cops almost never park a squad car directly in front of a building. Everybody forgets that policemen get paid, so, they try and bust people for what they can, if they just showed up all the time, sirens blarin, people would try to hide there illegal shit, or stop any illegal activities, more people in jail=more money for the state.
karlcolt45 19
and now is when you start to strip and see if that ticket is real
sunnymadhouse 7
This is beautiful
egc573 40
Doesn't sound so bad. I recently attended (for about 10 minutes) a Twilight bachelorette party. Yes, it was as bad as it sounds. The bride was "Bella", and the strippers were...well, you can do the math. Very very sadly, no actual cops were involved.
kentuckyguy 4
Did it end when Blade and Buffy showed up and kicked the living sh*t out of the strippers?
fayemae 11
Must of been a really sexy cop...
capnbzarr 43
Must of grapes becomes wine with fermentation.
mattlw 25
Must have***