Kids: Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with...

By mommylife - 15/04/2015 04:17 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 784

You deserved it 3 958

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 181

You deserved it 597

By jaimpastaggle - 06/10/2016 14:24 - France

Today, after spending over two hours cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom, my 5-year-old then runs in, yells, “Snowstorm!” and throws a bag of flour all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 095

You deserved it 1 311

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 774

You deserved it 810

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 952

You deserved it 428

Kids love that sort of repetition

By Vicky Cain - 15/06/2021 21:01 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my child thinks it's hilarious to continuously pour his entire Lego collection all over the floor. When I tidy it away, he does it all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 678

By Unlucky gal - 12/06/2017 04:00

Today, I broke my mug, windshield wiper, shower curtain, and foot, all in six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 876

You deserved it 283

By will - 14/08/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 217

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 15:00

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 2 560

Toynado

By Dad41 - 21/06/2019 12:00

Today, I came home from work and found that my son had taken every single one of his toys out and left them on the floor. Plus some goldfish crackers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 312

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 083

You deserved it 445

garf3265 12

Wednesday 15 April 2015 11:50

have kids they said, it will be fun they said

cutycat136 28

Wednesday 15 April 2015 11:53

When I read the part about covering the house with Cheerios, all I could picture was your kid going around the house literally placing the Cheerios one by one all around the house so they'd cover every spot he could get.

Comments

abNormal62 23

Wednesday 15 April 2015 12:12

You should take time management lessons from your son you seem to have it down pat, while you appear to be lacking

LeBandit 20

Wednesday 15 April 2015 12:19

I'm actually not even mad that's quite impressive

Grauncho 27

Wednesday 15 April 2015 12:40

And people ask me why I got a vasectomy.

LadyGagasNipple 19

Wednesday 15 April 2015 12:43

Oh man, kids are fun!

Steffi3 40

Wednesday 15 April 2015 12:46

But his time management is impressive

AndyPurdy 31

Wednesday 15 April 2015 12:58

Kids should always be watched 24/7

SMHsohard 22

Wednesday 15 April 2015 15:00

Ah, don't you just love advice on how to be a Perfect Parent from someone who apparently has absolutely no experience as one?

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Wednesday 15 April 2015 15:09

While I agree that they should be watched, as a parent myself, it is quite impossible to keep an eye on your child 24/7. You watch them the best you can, yes, but there will be those three six minutes that pass by because you're trying to make food, laundry, eat, or even poop and they get away and do what they do they do best. A mess.

AndyPurdy 31

Wednesday 15 April 2015 15:32

I'm sorry for the brainless comment,I was half asleep

lulinator 40

Wednesday 15 April 2015 20:39

#40, you mean, you haven't given up on private bathroom time yet?

ChoolyBooly 32

Thursday 16 April 2015 1:42

Oh my! My daughter doesn't always make messes when I use the restroom but she does love to follow me in there. If I close the door she gets upset and cries but if I leave the door open she wants to talk to me and bring her toys in the bathroom. And as for watching a child 24/7 it really is impossible. Although, you can watch them most of the time. With the exception of bathroom use, cooking, cleaning, picking up toys, and other every day simple things.