Kids: Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new...

By Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood - 09/12/2013 05:52 - United States - West Bend

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 750

You deserved it 7 901

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Same thing different taste

**** your "beach body" noise

By that’s not how it works - 16/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 110

By no she wasn't high - 02/12/2013 02:50 - United States - Garland

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 879

You deserved it 5 880

By Anonymous - 26/04/2012 04:36 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 960

You deserved it 2 693

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 19:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 625

You deserved it 9 524

By Anonymous - 24/01/2013 01:44 - United States - Waldorf

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 6 172

By aineroo - 05/11/2014 21:25 - Ireland - Galway

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 635

You deserved it 3 914

By reasonablysingle - 11/06/2016 03:27 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 346

You deserved it 1 249

By Ldp56 - 25/02/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 006

You deserved it 4 598

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 471

You deserved it 70 747

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 280

You deserved it 4 904

Harpy20 24

Monday 9 December 2013 13:53

She'll figure it out when she's starving.

aforbiddendance 23

Monday 9 December 2013 13:54

I don't think your daughter should worry about her weight at this age..

Comments

whiskeey 14

Monday 9 December 2013 23:50

I fear for my generation

CarouselHeart 11

Tuesday 10 December 2013 1:11

Wow. And you're not even going to, you know, talk to her about the fact she wants to diet?

Gittoh 21

Tuesday 10 December 2013 1:49

if she is unhappy with her body, then help her! stop feeding her whatever makes her unhappy, remember: it is the parents that controls the food habits.

kpnsbbygrl 0

Tuesday 10 December 2013 2:07

Your daughter is an idiot...and whose fault is that? You dont deserve to have kids! People like you are the reason society is failing.

Shade1982 20

Tuesday 10 December 2013 10:17

Are you serious? You're coming off as just as stupid as the daughter here. You do realize she has another parent right? Intelligence isn't taught, it's inherited.

ViviMage 38

Tuesday 10 December 2013 3:11

Tell her the red food coloring is made from crushed up beetles and the rest are crude oil derivatives and nothing she wants to eat.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 10 December 2013 4:19

Spike her water with liquid minerals/vitamins and hope she thinks it's the dye causing the different taste...

NavitasNexus 3

Tuesday 10 December 2013 7:30

You raised her.

Knightchaser27 25

Tuesday 10 December 2013 9:16

She really needs to pay more attention in science class

middlenamefrank 8

Tuesday 10 December 2013 16:55

Food coloring is pretty idiotic, but I'm surprised someone hasn't tried it with a liquid multivitamin supplement. Hey...I just invented the new viral diet craze!!!