Today, my mom invited my asshole cousin to my daughter's 10th birthday party, saying that this is the best time for me to apologize for having him imprisoned 3 years ago. He’s the same cousin who held my daughter hostage after the cops cornered him in a drug bust. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home to see my house trespassed, vandalized, and looted by my cousin, whom I have always hated, and his friends. As I get the cops to haul them to jail, he got kicked out from home for the Nth time and said my mom invited them. When I confronted my mom about it, she dismissed it saying, "He's family!" FML
Today, I went to my daughter's best friends birthday party, only to find my ex there, who is now sleeping with the mother, who has a fiancé in prison, who isn't going to be happy when he gets out. Most awkward kids birthday party ever. FML
Today, it appears that the cousin who burglarized my house and threatened to kill my wife, daughter, and me during a meth binge is more welcome at a family reunion than we are. We were assured last year by family that this wouldn't happen, because we are "good people who have wronged no one." FML
Today, I realized my cousin is an asshole. A cousin that I was close to who got engaged. I was excited to be part of her wedding day, since she was a big part of mine. Months later, on Instagram, she was sharing reels from her bachelorette party. When I asked her why she didn't invite me, she said she forgot. FML
Today, I realized that my husband's family hates me for something I did 10 years ago. When I was 18. I’m so done apologizing for it. My daughter does not deserve to see her mother treated like this. FML
Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML
Today, I got together a surprise party for my mom's birthday. I invited all her friends and her douchebag boyfriend who I don't get along with. When my mom got home, he took credit and got her friends to back him up with bribing. My mom said I'm selfish and horrible for not trying for her. FML
Today, at a family gathering, I was talking to my uncle about my "awful neighbor who smokes pot all day while listening to shitty bro country, and tries to cover the smell with cheap incense." After a moment of awkward silence, I remembered my cousin, his son, is my neighbor. He was more offended by the fact that I'd insulted his taste in music. FML
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Top comments
Echo 8802 14
I'M SORRY BUT YOUR MOM IS ******* RIDICULOUS.
arandomperson97 19
I would not allow them inside the house or on your property and have police waiting on scene. There’s a line and they have crossed it. I’m sorry, OP. Consider getting a restraining order.
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Comments (35)
boopingsnoot 25
1. Change the location of the party, do not tell your mother (or evil cousin) 2. Have people you trust on the lookout for your unwanted guests, ready to call the cops if cousin shows up
ParkerM77 4
First thing I would've done in the case they held my kid hostage I would get a restraining order. Second thing, if your mom forgives your cousin for doing some psycho shit like that, I wouldn't even bother inviting her and if she shows up, don't let her in. If you don't do those things and your cousin shows up, beat the everliving shit out of him.
Austin Kp 8
You should cut him off completely. Your mother is obviously dumb. He held your kid hostage. Yeah, don’t let him into your life.
yeongji 31
Guess we know who to not invite for her 11th birthday party..
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
How come your mother invites people to your house? that's totally off. Time to move away I reckon, for your daughter's safety if not for your own peace of mind.
saffy66 34
Your mother doesn’t deserve a place in your daughter’s life, or yours. What an amazingly stupid and selfish person. Perhaps she should be locked up for endangering your daughter again.
franniemae 8
Just, wow. Perhaps you should also be calling your mother an asshole and forgetting she's your mother... or possibly anybody's "mother," as mother's actually want to protect children from, you know, like, harm or death or sick people or evil people.
ladyscribb 4
tbh ur mom is ******* retarded
peithecelt 28
So mom & cousin as both banned from the house now! less good food to have to buy, yeah!