Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
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Top comments
My_Little_Pony 0
Some things you just can't make an excuse for.
Arrow_fml 0
It's ok, some people are show-ers and some are growers.
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Comments (98)
King_of_Kings_2 0
to Jimboom in response to both your comments. well put. i agree 100 percent.
shiaii 0
hey the smallest i've seen soft is the biggest i've seen hard. =] gives you some hope right?
justajoker 0
unless it's the only one you've seen.
SlyTendencies 1
Enjoy your STDs, *****.
alley_cat_118 0
haha you should have hollered, "bitch! you aint got no right to be talkin, since my pee-pee is still 30 times the size of yours!" Or you coud have said, "[insert child's name], that's very rude and inconsiderate of you to make fun of a man with penile inflammation like that." Or just tell him that your penis is like a ninja-- its size is due to lean, agile muscle and can still take down weiners much larger than it.
konstantinos616 17
^win!
freddie_fml 0
...and this is exactly why you take a boy that age into the stall rather than using the urinal in public bathrooms. You totally deserved that one.
McZeal 0
it's not the size of the boat that matters, it's the motion of the ocean
dabears4life 0
****** great... god dam that is my new life saying
RomanBeauty 0
I prefer a boat that doesn't sink- giggity
EmreArslan 11
A big ship doesnt sink when there is a storm on that ocean...
stupidLes 0
U shoud have responded him, that size mostly is inherited :D
chinchilla_fml 0
Hahahaha @ #15!! Good one.
tech_guy 0
I think I just figured out why people beat their children!
tomorrowbroadway 0
"That's because Daddy is a grower, son."
Liveanotherday 0
That had to be awkward...you should've said "That's because Daddy isn't aroused by men."
daaaang113 0
#22 ftw hahahaha
Turtle_Mode 0
lol