Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
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Top comments
My_Little_Pony 0
Some things you just can't make an excuse for.
Arrow_fml 0
It's ok, some people are show-ers and some are growers.
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Comments (98)
Jem0_0 0
I have no idea how I would even have reacted. That had to have been the most mortifying experience of your life hahahahaha
Zits 0
Parenting doesn't come with an 'easy' button.
squeaky_fml 0
well, you know, there's showers and there's growers.
eeee93757 0
Epic win for #10
Riceman80 0
It's okay, having a small penis doesn't make you less of a... Wait, actually it does make you less of a man... You also may eventually lose the respect of your son, when he realizes the true societal of being... well-hung, to be polite. Don't fear, though, obviously, your mate doesn't consider "Bigger" as being "better". Chin up :)
Cottoncandii 0
Its okay, ive learned on my own that size is good.. but its more how u use it, big is suttin to be proud of but not if ur big n still bad at sex which is sometimes the case.
mechanicalrain 0
ha- 15.... i'd go with the ninja one.... epic
voice_of_reason 0
to King_of_Kings2 and JimBoom - don't you guys have each other's instant messenger or something? About half of your comments on all these threads are to each other.
otj27 0
atleast he doesnt know that that matters yet
WildBill1337 0
LMAO!!!!!! this is a situation where you have to laugh at yourself or die a shameful death.