Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML
Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML
Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML
Classic
Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML
Fake it til you make it
Today, while driving, I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
Denied
Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML
Top comments
SimmoRocks 1
Your NECK?
GrammarNaziFTW 0
Yeah because whenever I hit on somebody, my first instinct is to write my number on their neck.
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Comments (184)
fearqc 0
Wtf
Kntrymama 8
Sorry OP but youre a loser :(
justanotherrando_fml 2
Kevin! Is that really you? OMG… YDI
TheRealHouse 7
I don't understand all these fmls "I'm so pathetic that I did something pathetic".. No you are pathetic BECAUSE you did something pathetic! Just stop! I'm a 30 yr old red headed scrawny dude with a crappy car and average income and I havnt gotten laid in almost a year so I I know it can be tough to get the attention we desire sometimes, but if you do desperate or pathetic things because of it, YDI!!
Kntrymama 8
#72 fyl xD
sierralovex 0
um, that's more pathetic than having no one hit on you??
ovallegabriel1 0
How is that possible
kareltje 17
And how the hell do you think that makes people think someone hit on you?
Enslaved 38
People probably just thought it was a stupid looking tattoo. I don't understand why people chose that location but to each their own.
Jazzgirl101 12
who writes a number on someones neck? how the hell would you read it?
sara_saturday 5
shoulda drawn an penis on your face and pretended that you were at a party