Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 Monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, I woke up with severe back pain and about $100 missing from my paycheck. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, after I took off a week from work to grieve the loss of my girlfriend, who was very sick and passed due to natural causes, my paycheck suffered because of that and last night, to avoid going back to hard drugs, I went out to the clubs where I blew the only 250 bucks I had on strippers and drinks. Now I have 0 bucks for rent. FML
Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML
Today, I found $20 on the ground. I'm so broke, this is the first time in 3 months that I've had any disposable income. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I found $20 in an old jacket and celebrated by buying myself a fancy lunch (well, Burger King, but that just goes to show how well I'm doing in this economy). When I got home, I realized I'd left my wallet at the restaurant while paying with the $20. FML
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Top comments
havingalaugh 9
Well at least you started the new year with more money than last year.
xkore787 14
Am I the only one thinking she partied a little too hard?
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Comments (79)
asianmp 9
Party hard or go home
martin8337 36
Reminds me of a story I heard years ago about a guy that woke up with a quarter in his hand and his underwear on backwards. ;-)
MallardMarauder 10
That's a cheap hooker!
mxij 13
You might wanna get drunk more if it means money, as long as you didn't have any sex with strangers
Xotoolyxo 16
Look through your phone for any pictures
dangousity 21
13$ in the bra, hung over,.. No money? Classy welfare mom?
iximsrebelixi 3
I'd say it was a tip for Ya lol
BubbaJ80 11
Get some red Gatorade and some Tylenol
Quasita 26
I guess I'm in the dark as to how you could afford to drink till you would be hung over the next day, but $13 is more than you've seen in weeks... I mean, I assume that this was from NYE but man... I'm no ugly woman but I couldn't get enough drinks for free to get wasted like that unless it was my birthday or something.
mizzoukid 6
Take the money and run!