Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML
Today, I had a job interview at a local business with the owner who was man, and the manager who was a woman. I thought I did pretty well because I heard the manager whisper so, as I was walking out. Then I heard the owner whisper, "No fat chicks." FML
Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said, "OK, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML
Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML
Today, I went to a job interview. I really needed the job to keep my apartment. As I was being interviewed, the manager looked past me and stared off into space. There goes the job and my apartment. FML
Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered, "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML
Today, at work, a man punched me in the face because he said I took his son's job. He meant both me and his son applied for the same job. He also asked to speak to my boss, because he thinks I "cheated." FML
Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "LMAO" out loud at his friend's joke. FML
Today, I found out why the only business in town that operates in my chosen industry won’t hire me. Several months ago, my father antagonised the owner, bringing up my name in the process. I haven’t spoken to the man in five years. FML
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You should sue! Demonic Possession is clearly covered by the Americans with Disabilites Act. He has to hire you and keep your office at 900 degrees to accommodate your demon.
pokefan813 16
Maybe you should find an exorcist...
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Comments (159)
perdix 31
You should sue! Demonic Possession is clearly covered by the Americans with Disabilites Act. He has to hire you and keep your office at 900 degrees to accommodate your demon.
speshlk37 13
Okay, that's pretty funny.
p_syko 5
Thanks! I just spit water all over the place laughing so hard. That is hilarious!
purrfume 0
Rofl
TheCorruptid1 6
Are you serious?!?! I got fired from mowing my neighbor's lawn because I had a scratch on my wrist. He said I was being, "pursued by dark forces", and I can't work for him. To the lawyer's office!!!!!!
qtip2245 0
Did your head at anytime turn 360 degrees?
Jumpingmal2 7
^ or a praying mantis
FloTimmyKO 0
Interviewer: hello sir, what's your name? OP: Damian Interviewer: can you please write down your phone number and birthdate on this application? OP: sure thing, 666-6666, 6/6/66 Interviewer: GTFO!
emaleexoxox 0
hahaha
evilplatypus 39
Why do people always say "but I could be wrong" when they're trying to correct people on here? Is google really THAT hard to navigate? If you're too lazy to look it up, why bother "correcting" someone if you don't even know whether you're correct or not?
KiddNYC1O 22
Remember 6!
Roflsauruz 12
In a society where people are now spelling names like "Christine" as "Kristene", why does it even matter if it's an E or an A?
raraisbang 12
Because my boyfriend's name is Damian, this made me giggle. And then consider the fact that he might be evil... :D I knew that nice guy crap had to be some kind of facade!
mswim 27
How r u born in a year ending in 66? Unles it was 1966. Wait which is believable, my mom was born in '65. Yeah ok carry on
wlddog 14
See if a cross burns his skin
FloTimmyKO 0
Did anyone notice this had 66 likes? Haha
unknown_user5566 27
Just use his belief to your advantage. Tell him you'll send your hell hounds to create chaos and destruction if they don't hire you. :) Good luck finding a job with owners who aren't plauged by being senile, OP.
SliceOfCake 9
If she did that he'd probably whip out a bible and beat her with it.
unknown_user5566 27
You can still work that to your advantage. You may not get a job, but you do end up with a nice case of harassment.
purrfume 0
You kinda look like kalisi in game of thrones:)
unknown_user5566 27
Is that good or bad? Haha. I'm not familiar with that character.
redbluegreen 41
"Hi, my name is Charles and I'm here to ＴＡＫＥ ＹＯＵＲ ＳＯＵＬ. I have a master's degree in ＤＥＶＩＬ ＷＯＲＳＨＩＰＩＮＧ. In ten years I see myself ＴＵＲＮＩＮＧ ＯＲＰＨＡＮＳ ＩＮＴＯ ＳＵＳＨＩ."
SliceOfCake 9
Sushi? Interesting. I would prefer cake.
florido_fml 10
I love sushi with a slice of cake for dessert
igive 29
they don't taste as good in cake though, but i wouldn't know...*shifty eyes*
nofearjenshere 12
25- Into cannibalism, I see.
ConesOfDeath 0
......hmm.... Perhaps? No... Couldn't work. ..could it? ...Sushi cake... I'll be right back. "Today, I ran out of sushi cake. FML" Try it with A1!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Mmmm...orphan sushi with a side of orphan tears.
Kiki242 19
Is your name Emily Rose? If so, that explains his reasoning.
layinbedallday 0
Have you met a guy named Emily Rose?
Kiki242 19
Well I have a cousin named sally. People name their kids all sorts of things nowadays.
new_Combray 4
Right... It's probably better you have not been offered the job!
ThatEmoVeganChic 0
Are they Jesus freaks?
Epsilonyx 15
Or they could be of a plethora of different faiths that believe in demons?
Shadow_Phantom 26
*facepalm* People are still gullible to believe in that nonsense? FYL, OP for not getting a job. On the other hand, it's probably better you don't work for somebody like that.
Shadow_Phantom 26
And of course everybody else is gullible enough to believe the stereotypes placed on daemons. *sigh*
reddudeover 2
We prefer the term *occupied Americans.
c8750 2
Lmfao
speshlk37 13
Occupy Christians! Hell's having an economic meltdown...