The first time we met: Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes...

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 03:00

Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 195

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 501

You deserved it 2 944

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 271

You deserved it 296

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 965

You deserved it 3 556

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 683

You deserved it 1 018

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 251

Maybe he's into that...

By pissypants - 25/11/2017 19:00

Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my dates popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 3 500

By Anonymous - 06/07/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Halstead

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 608

You deserved it 501

By shwasted - 22/02/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 544

You deserved it 3 789

By anonymous - 19/11/2016 18:35 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 362

You deserved it 1 503

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 843

You deserved it 4 420

BurnInDemonFire 33

Sunday 16 December 2018 3:10

Did you do something to upset them, like ordering meat even though they're vegan, or are they just nuts? Oh wait... same thing...

acmariner99 25

Sunday 16 December 2018 3:32

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it isn’t going to work out.

Comments

VanTufty 13

Monday 17 December 2018 2:35

You went to the bathroom for 5 minutes on a first date?! 5 minutes!!!!

Rabite 28

Monday 17 December 2018 4:31

How long is the appropiate amount of time to spend in the bathroom on a date?

BeefyQueefy 14

Monday 17 December 2018 18:44

Under no cicumstances is it ok to go take a casual shit in the middle of a date

Rabite 28

Monday 17 December 2018 4:32

I don't think you can ruin something with ketchup. Except for pasta. Did you have pasta?

BeefyQueefy 14

Monday 17 December 2018 18:43

Maybe it's because you think it's ok to go take a dump in the middle of a meal??

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 22 December 2018 1:47

It's illegal to date children, you know...

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I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 2 168

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I agree, your life sucks 24 431

You deserved it 1 934

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I agree, your life sucks 55 302

You deserved it 5 873