The first time we met: Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes...

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 03:00

Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 633

You deserved it 203

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Same thing different taste

Check, please!

By No second date - 13/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 169

That went well

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 654

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 613

You deserved it 2 949

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 312

You deserved it 308

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 003

You deserved it 3 568

Maybe he's into that...

By pissypants - 25/11/2017 19:00

Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 3 555

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 718

You deserved it 1 026

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 278

Mortified

By Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 114

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 163

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 16 December 2018 3:10

Did you do something to upset them, like ordering meat even though they're vegan, or are they just nuts? Oh wait... same thing...

acmariner99 25

Sunday 16 December 2018 3:32

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it isn’t going to work out.

Comments

VanTufty 13

Monday 17 December 2018 2:35

You went to the bathroom for 5 minutes on a first date?! 5 minutes!!!!

Rabite 28

Monday 17 December 2018 4:31

How long is the appropiate amount of time to spend in the bathroom on a date?

BeefyQueefy 14

Monday 17 December 2018 18:44

Under no cicumstances is it ok to go take a casual shit in the middle of a date

Rabite 28

Monday 17 December 2018 4:32

I don't think you can ruin something with ketchup. Except for pasta. Did you have pasta?

BeefyQueefy 14

Monday 17 December 2018 18:43

Maybe it's because you think it's ok to go take a dump in the middle of a meal??

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 22 December 2018 1:47

It's illegal to date children, you know...

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Same thing different taste

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