Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I helped my neighbor carry her groceries upstairs. One egg carton slipped from my hand and exploded in the sink. She stared at the mess, then at me, and said, “That's my omelet down the drain.” FML
Today, my mom had me and my little brother make pancakes for breakfast. I had to let the dog out of the house to go do his business, so I had my little brother wait there and told him not to touch anything. I came back 5 minutes later, and there were cracked eggs in the almost-done batter. FML
Today, while eating breakfast with my family, I asked my mother if there was any more scrambled eggs in the skillet because I really felt like having some more. She got mad at me because she thought I'd asked in a sarcastic manner. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML
Today, I cracked an egg with a disgusting rotten black yolk into the pan, ruining my almost done breakfast. Last time this happened, just coincidentally, two deaths in the family and a near deadly mental breakdown followed. Now eggs seem too gross to eat, and I’m afraid this time was another bad omen. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Then you've only got one shot to get her right in the face with it. No pressure.
Angel_Vice 0
Your mom is awesome.
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Comments (164)
akbieber 0
I L-O-V-E YOUR MOM! THROW THE OTHER ONE AT HER WHILE SHES ASLEEP :)
awesomedude4 0
so, your life sucks because you couldn't have eggs for breakfast. sad
heyhihello28 0
soo go make different breakfast -.-
MJ_Goobs_Xx 0
what are you poor? BUY MORE EGGS!! not even an fyl moment OP!! major fail
bananamonkee 0
wow lol that's funny but at the same time f**ked up, I don't know whether to feel bad or laugh :$
jemmawainwright 0
that is possibly the worst thing that could ever happen!! I hate only having one egg!!
Toast_yumm 0
haha I would probably laugh at my mom for doing that(:
nicefacekidd 4
And..?
nismo1992 0
ur moms high on Egg whites
SnailLife 3
Are her method weird YES but how else was she going to teach u how to portion ur meals properly.