Miscellaneous: Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself...

By Laura - 11/03/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 560

You deserved it 4 607

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 037

You deserved it 5 630

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 4 523

Breakfast of champions

By Ana - 14/05/2023 06:00

Today, my mom had me and my little brother make pancakes for breakfast. I had to let the dog out of the house to go do his business, so I had my little brother wait there and told him not to touch anything. I came back 5 minutes later, and there were cracked eggs in the almost-done batter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 175

Eggs

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 23:01

Today, while eating breakfast with my family, I asked my mother if there was any more scrambled eggs in the skillet because I really felt like having some more. She got mad at me because she thought I'd asked in a sarcastic manner. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 96

Breakfast time!

By shit flavored eggs - 09/03/2021 00:30

Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 429

That homely smell

By Bottomless_Pit_for_the_NOMS - 23/09/2020 10:01 - United States - Miami

Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 349

There's no such thing as a coincidence

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 10:57

Today, I cracked an egg with a disgusting rotten black yolk into the pan, ruining my almost done breakfast. Last time this happened, just coincidentally, two deaths in the family and a near deadly mental breakdown followed. Now eggs seem too gross to eat, and I’m afraid this time was another bad omen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 142

Sabotage!

By WTF - 12/10/2012 23:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 927

You deserved it 1 684

No yolk

By eggonmiface - 01/07/2018 15:00

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 432

You deserved it 502

By Amber Rutledge - 27/01/2018 00:00

Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 831

You deserved it 428

FYLDeep 25

Friday 11 March 2011 11:58

Then you've only got one shot to get her right in the face with it. No pressure.

Angel_Vice 0

Friday 11 March 2011 11:55

Your mom is awesome.

Comments

akbieber 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 13:34

I L-O-V-E YOUR MOM! THROW THE OTHER ONE AT HER WHILE SHES ASLEEP :)

awesomedude4 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 16:20

so, your life sucks because you couldn't have eggs for breakfast. sad

heyhihello28 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 16:50

soo go make different breakfast -.-

MJ_Goobs_Xx 0

Monday 14 March 2011 7:00

what are you poor? BUY MORE EGGS!! not even an fyl moment OP!! major fail

bananamonkee 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 0:38

wow lol that's funny but at the same time f**ked up, I don't know whether to feel bad or laugh :$

jemmawainwright 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 13:22

that is possibly the worst thing that could ever happen!! I hate only having one egg!!

Toast_yumm 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 14:54

haha I would probably laugh at my mom for doing that(:

nicefacekidd 4

Wednesday 16 March 2011 0:23

And..?

nismo1992 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 3:56

ur moms high on Egg whites

SnailLife 3

Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:00

Are her method weird YES but how else was she going to teach u how to portion ur meals properly.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Relatable Abuse Money Scams Social Media Kids School Education Parents Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 399

Today, it's been a week since my mother died. She had no life insurance and was over $20,000 in debt, plus her hospital/funeral bills. My father wants nothing to do with me as she was a one night stand and he never paid child support. I'm behind on rent and bills because I'm injured from work. Thanks for nothing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 143

The Top

Today, I was talking to one of the advisors at my job about how almost everyone in the workplace who owns a Toyota has strangely been in some sort of car accident in the last year. I happen to have a Toyota. Guess who was rear-ended at an intersection after leaving work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 074

You deserved it 527

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 957

You deserved it 89 284

Today, at work, our new chef managed to start a grease fire. We couldn’t put it out because he managed to splash the flaming grease onto the fire extinguisher. Yes, we couldn’t put out a fire because our fire extinguisher was on fire. The fire department guys just laughed and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 98

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 827

You deserved it 4 974

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 2 620

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 242

You deserved it 3 892