Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
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Top comments
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Did you pee back on him???
mssmell 10
Golden shower?
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Comments (77)
Wizardo 33
Golden water fight! These new super soakers aren't as fun as you first thought right?
kerrwoof 13
Such a piss off
Roughlife28 7
I'm trying to imagine this guy's apology... You can't tell me it wasn't awkward
whyisitme12 19
Sounds like you're just having one bad those bad luck days
BobbieH 19
Urine is sterile directly from the bladder but as it travels through the body and leaving the urethra it collects bacteria that colonize there. Additionally women can add bacteria as the urine crosses the mucus membrane of the labia and uncircumcised men as it crosses the foreskin. Add to that the airborne and surface bacteria in the collection device and the urine that reaches the world is no longer sterile. There is a theory that midstream urine does not pick up the bacteria as it has already been washed away. However there isn't evidence to support this is always or even most often true.
Wowxoxo 17
Your comment was nice, but I don't think OP cares if urine starts off sterile..
termin8tor786 10
Dumbass!!
perdix 29
All over you? Was he jumping around in fright after downing a Big Gulp and a fistful of Flo-Max?
AGB10 19
What would happen if they scared the "shit" out of him?
FindingYujin 26
Sure scared the piss out of him.
imbedderdenu 23
damn! rough day!
Headcrab 29
The guy took he urinal next to you? He broke the fist rule of urinal use! a Always use the one the furthest away, and if you can't use one with nobody in either side, go away.
RedPillSucks 31
Some places have only two urinals.