By 2234 - 04/10/2010 02:10 - United States

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 312
You deserved it 48 339

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Try knocking them out with your house keys.

#1: Is that really the only response you could come up with? I mean, sure the tree has wood, but it's not like it can do anything with it. When you see a tree, do you automatically think of having sex with it? Does it, I dare say, spark some of your hottest fantasies?

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Did the tree rape you as well?

#1: Is that really the only response you could come up with? I mean, sure the tree has wood, but it's not like it can do anything with it. When you see a tree, do you automatically think of having sex with it? Does it, I dare say, spark some of your hottest fantasies?

Maybe he was moderating FMLs recently. In that case, it wouldn't be out of the question to ask the OP if his penis fell off too. Apparently that happens quite often.

It's because it's a palm tree.

It wouldn't be strange to ask every OP if their penis fell off as a response. I mean, it /is/ FML. They're bound to deserve it as well. Oh and, facepalm, OP. Facepalm.

Double facePALM!

FacePalm in the face... Ydi for throwing your keys that high anyway... Climb up the tree now & get it. Or stand outside looking up waiting for ideas on this website... or break in... (I don't claim any responsibility for damages or arrests due to the op following to this post)

*facepalm* OP, you're an idiot.

Hahahaha. You're all such silly gooses! :p

*Presses "So What?" button* You got your keys stuck in a palm tree. Big fucking deal. How hard is it to throw something elseup there toget it down? Y (Fucking) DI, OP. You just happened to toss your keys high enough into a tree and whining about it on FML. There are plenty of better stories that should've been published rather than this.

Didn't you see the trees in the area? Lol. Nothing a ladder or a very tall person can't get down.

Um... if you've ever seen a palm tree, you'd know how little sense that made. A ladder or tall person would be no help, since palm trees are like 20ft tall... Gardeners have to use special equipment to prune them and (in the case of palms that grow dates to be harvested) collect the fruit. Plus, the tree would be pretty much impossible to climb if it was in OP's yard, as pretty much everyone I know with a palm tree in their yard has a gardener who strips off the bark for safety purposes.

What a square!!

Actually Mary, a ladder might be helpful. There are several different species of palm tree, if OP is lucky, it's a shorter type or else a tree that's still not fully grown yet. If OP isn't lucky enough to have a short variation of palm, than I pity OP because he is an idiot and intentionally threw his keys WAY WAY above his head. I just kept hoping that OP only threw them slightly too far out of reach.

^facepalm^ dumbest move ever op.NOW CLIMB THAT TREE! u can do it op!!!!

Why were you doing this anyway... just standing outside your house throwing your keys in the air sounds productive

Try knocking them out with your house keys.

and if that gets stuck, use your credit card. that will work. if not, try the debit card. Don't mind the homeless man smiling behind you... He's here to help you to retrieve your goods when they fall down... Well he'll have a new car, a new home, and some money, so he's not poor or homeless anymore. op, I guess you better start looking for a new place. (I'm on my iPod, so excuse my neglect of the capitals at the beginning of sentences... I don't feel like correcting them...) 0:)

Or he could use his peni-- oh wait, I forgot that not everyone's is as big as mine.

at least you live somewhere nice enough to have palm trees where I live it's just cold and rain

climb up n get them

failing is too easy for some people

Hope you learned your lesson, OP. and throw a rock to knock your keys down

hello??? chainsaw!!!!!

I'll get them for you. I want catnip in exchange.

I'll get you down after you get the keys back. I'll also want that catnip

and ill bring a hot girl! no i really wont

Let's hope you know how to climb. Or have claws like cat! MEOW!

Ha, well I must say YDI.

YDI for living someplace nice

Burn the tree down.

Throw a grenade.

Crash a plane to it.

Exactly what I was going for.

yeah but see, my fellow planets thought whoever did this was genius. and apparently my enemy (Nibiru) wants to perform the same thing on me. just at a larger scale. so, because of humans.. me, you, and all of life, is screwed.

Fuck you, Earth. I've been recycling my whole life for you and you can't make any use of that? Go suck a meteor.

by recycling, you mean reincarnation right? and I can helping you have ideas. but even if he doesn't hit me, and just goes pass me, it'll still mess you guys up with the gravitational pull. so it's impossible to dodge.

Don't make me nuke you.

I just realized a brown cow said to burn the tree down. I didn't think cows could be so violent.

I'll get rid of them for you. It might sting a bit all over...

Calm down. It will hurt more if you tense up.

ok ok fine.. too bad there isn't a way for me to get drunk for this..

Earth, why did people believe you were the center of the universe?

The Earth is very conceited.

because I WAS the center.. of our solar system atleast. not sure about the universe part though. even so, I don't think anything is the center if the universe is infinite. anyways, i got demoted when the sun came along. so, way back in the old times, I was the center of our solar system. nowadays, they think those old people were stupid.. poor old people.

Redbluegreen is a champ.

i agree. we will declare redbluegreen as champion of the world! wait a sec.. does that make me your slave? treat me nice please, if I am.

WHOA WHOA WHOA! Red is no ones champion, but mine. Back off soldiers!

I wonder what she thinks about this... where's your feedback rebluegreen?

He was standing next to a cow. Sorry.

He was standing next to a cow. Sorry.

She, and I was out destroying another solar system 10x bigger than yours. I believe I belong to Anna. What's up? -fondles whip-

*Dusts her shoulders off* Yeah, be jealous bitches!

I want a taco.

I want death for all idiots, but we can't always get what we want. :D

what the hell have you all been smokin?

I wasn't smoking anything.

*hoses Anna*  *hoses pen's smokin' Aces* *hoses Grinch and OP's keys out of tree* Now Anna's got muddy shoulders, pen's got a soggy meld, Grinch is on her feet but crabby, and none of us have an excuse for being here. Mwahaha! (that's my diabolical genius laugh)  Ok, I realize I'd be both diabolicaler and geniouser if I wasn't so late to the party, but in my defense, palm trees can burn for a long time. It's the coconut milk.  

lol at 76.go suck a meteor.i went vegan 4 u earth and recycled to help u since i was 2!!!!!

Climb the tree problem solved. Besides, it's Texas... There aren't any 'trees' only bushes. :D I can make that joke because I live there. ._. -Fluffy McTiger

Tigers in Texas? :O I'm going there nao :O

-coughs awkwardly- I am merely... Um... A foreign exchange student. :D -Fluffy McTiger

But you said you live there, fail :D

Hush, before they figure me out! -Fluffy McTiger

Would you care if somone said 'here kitty kitty' while thy were holding out wild hog meat?

Well... That's a difficult question. What would happen most likely is: they get a paw to the face (both to distract and discipline), I snatch the hog, and I run away to the nearby forest. -Fluffy McTiger

Forest? in 'cough' not Texas 'cough'. do they have many forests there?

Well, no... Some underbrush and some decent oak occasionally... Hey, wait a minute there... You're trying to trick me! I live in the mighty jungle! Far, far away! So phhht! :p -Fluffy McTiger

Thank god for copies!