Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML
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By
FYLDeep
| 25
Try knocking them out with your house keys.
By
redbluegreen
| 40
#1: Is that really the only response you could come up with? I mean, sure the tree has wood, but it's not like it can do anything with it. When you see a tree, do you automatically think of having sex with it? Does it, I dare say, spark some of your hottest fantasies?
COMMENTS
By
SirWhatsHisFace
| 0
Did the tree rape you as well?
Reply
redbluegreen
| 40
#1: Is that really the only response you could come up with? I mean, sure the tree has wood, but it's not like it can do anything with it. When you see a tree, do you automatically think of having sex with it? Does it, I dare say, spark some of your hottest fantasies?
Reply
FYLDeep
| 25
Maybe he was moderating FMLs recently. In that case, it wouldn't be out of the question to ask the OP if his penis fell off too. Apparently that happens quite often.
Reply
Freeze_fml
| 16
It's because it's a palm tree.
Reply
redbluegreen
| 40
It wouldn't be strange to ask every OP if their penis fell off as a response. I mean, it /is/ FML. They're bound to deserve it as well.
Oh and, facepalm, OP. Facepalm.
Oh and, facepalm, OP. Facepalm.
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
Double facePALM!
Reply
Ali_Br_fml
| 33
FacePalm in the face...
Ydi for throwing your keys that high anyway...
Climb up the tree now & get it.
Or stand outside looking up waiting for ideas on this website...
or break in...
(I don't claim any responsibility for damages or arrests due to the op following to this post)
Ydi for throwing your keys that high anyway...
Climb up the tree now & get it.
Or stand outside looking up waiting for ideas on this website...
or break in...
(I don't claim any responsibility for damages or arrests due to the op following to this post)
Reply
ohthebloodygore
| 16
*facepalm*
OP, you're an idiot.
OP, you're an idiot.
Reply
ChrisSG
| 0
...I Lol'ed
Reply
KingDingALing
| 9
Hahahaha. You're all such silly gooses! :p
Reply
zp5
| 4
fail
Reply
blankaex
| 0
*Presses "So What?" button*
You got your keys stuck in a palm tree. Big fucking deal. How hard is it to throw something elseup there toget it down?
Y (Fucking) DI, OP. You just happened to toss your keys high enough into a tree and whining about it on FML. There are plenty of better stories that should've been published rather than this.
You got your keys stuck in a palm tree. Big fucking deal. How hard is it to throw something elseup there toget it down?
Y (Fucking) DI, OP. You just happened to toss your keys high enough into a tree and whining about it on FML. There are plenty of better stories that should've been published rather than this.
Reply
zerobahamut03
| 2
Didn't you see the trees in the area? Lol. Nothing a ladder or a very tall person can't get down.
Reply
ScaryyMary
| 14
Um... if you've ever seen a palm tree, you'd know how little sense that made. A ladder or tall person would be no help, since palm trees are like 20ft tall... Gardeners have to use special equipment to prune them and (in the case of palms that grow dates to be harvested) collect the fruit. Plus, the tree would be pretty much impossible to climb if it was in OP's yard, as pretty much everyone I know with a palm tree in their yard has a gardener who strips off the bark for safety purposes.
Reply
Sanchez2021
| 0
What a square!!
Reply
boatkicker
| 4
Actually Mary, a ladder might be helpful. There are several different species of palm tree, if OP is lucky, it's a shorter type or else a tree that's still not fully grown yet. If OP isn't lucky enough to have a short variation of palm, than I pity OP because he is an idiot and intentionally threw his keys WAY WAY above his head. I just kept hoping that OP only threw them slightly too far out of reach.
Reply
glambert1998
| 0
^facepalm^ dumbest move ever op.NOW CLIMB THAT TREE! u can do it op!!!!
Reply
MsBrainDamage
| 0
Why were you doing this anyway... just standing outside your house throwing your keys in the air sounds productive
By
FYLDeep
| 25
Try knocking them out with your house keys.
Reply
kriptonite_fml
| 0
lol
Reply
Ali_Br_fml
| 33
and if that gets stuck, use your credit card. that will work. if not, try the debit card. Don't mind the homeless man smiling behind you... He's here to help you to retrieve your goods when they fall down... Well he'll have a new car, a new home, and some money, so he's not poor or homeless anymore. op, I guess you better start looking for a new place. (I'm on my iPod, so excuse my neglect of the capitals at the beginning of sentences... I don't feel like correcting them...) 0:)
Reply
BahahahLOL
| 0
Or he could use his peni-- oh wait, I forgot that not everyone's is as big as mine.
Reply
iphonelover10
| 0
ha good 1
Reply
z620
| 0
at least you live somewhere nice enough to have palm trees where I live it's just cold and rain
By
renr17
| 0
climb up n get them
Reply
PizzaGuy11
| 0
failing is too easy for some people
Reply
imsosleepy
| 9
Hope you learned your lesson, OP.
and throw a rock to knock your keys down
and throw a rock to knock your keys down
Reply
steeledwolf
| 8
hello??? chainsaw!!!!!
By
MissGrinch
| 4
I'll get them for you.
I want catnip in exchange.
I want catnip in exchange.
Reply
triple_double
| 1
I'll get you down after you get the keys back.
I'll also want that catnip
I'll also want that catnip
Reply
MissGrinch
| 4
It's a deal.
Reply
PizzaGuy11
| 0
and ill bring a hot girl!
no i really wont
no i really wont
Reply
glambert1998
| 0
^facepalm^
By
FFML_314
| 11
Let's hope you know how to climb. Or have claws like cat! MEOW!
Reply
MyTwoCents_
| 0
ladder
By
forbiddin_secret
| 0
Ha, well I must say YDI.
Reply
facilitator
| 0
YDI for living someplace nice
By
OwNowBrownCow
| 0
Burn the tree down.
Reply
Arsonnist
| 3
Throw a grenade.
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
Crash a plane to it.
Reply
The_Earth
| 0
^^9/11
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
Exactly what I was going for.
Reply
The_Earth
| 0
yeah but see, my fellow planets thought whoever did this was genius. and apparently my enemy (Nibiru) wants to perform the same thing on me. just at a larger scale. so, because of humans.. me, you, and all of life, is screwed.
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
Fuck you, Earth. I've been recycling my whole life for you and you can't make any use of that? Go suck a meteor.
Reply
The_Earth
| 0
by recycling, you mean reincarnation right? and I can helping you have ideas. but even if he doesn't hit me, and just goes pass me, it'll still mess you guys up with the gravitational pull. so it's impossible to dodge.
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
Don't make me nuke you.
Reply
The_Earth
| 0
I just realized a brown cow said to burn the tree down. I didn't think cows could be so violent.
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
I'll get rid of them for you. It might sting a bit all over...
Reply
The_Earth
| 0
NOOOOOO.
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
Calm down. It will hurt more if you tense up.
Reply
The_Earth
| 0
ok ok fine.. too bad there isn't a way for me to get drunk for this..
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
Earth, why did people believe you were the center of the universe?
Reply
redbluegreen
| 40
The Earth is very conceited.
Reply
The_Earth
| 0
because I WAS the center.. of our solar system atleast. not sure about the universe part though. even so, I don't think anything is the center if the universe is infinite. anyways, i got demoted when the sun came along. so, way back in the old times, I was the center of our solar system. nowadays, they think those old people were stupid.. poor old people.
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
Redbluegreen is a champ.
Reply
The_Earth
| 0
i agree. we will declare redbluegreen as champion of the world! wait a sec.. does that make me your slave? treat me nice please, if I am.
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
WHOA WHOA WHOA!
Red is no ones champion, but mine. Back off soldiers!
Red is no ones champion, but mine. Back off soldiers!
Reply
The_Earth
| 0
I wonder what she thinks about this... where's your feedback rebluegreen?
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
He was standing next to a cow. Sorry.
Reply
The_Earth
| 0
he?
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
He was standing next to a cow. Sorry.
Reply
redbluegreen
| 40
She, and I was out destroying another solar system 10x bigger than yours. I believe I belong to Anna. What's up? -fondles whip-
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
*Dusts her shoulders off*
Yeah, be jealous bitches!
Yeah, be jealous bitches!
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
I want a taco.
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
I want death for all idiots, but we can't always get what we want. :D
Reply
rockhound
| 0
what the hell have you all been smokin?
Reply
kenjiisown
| 1
I wasn't smoking anything.
Reply
TheIrishJaneDoe
| 8
*hoses Anna*
*hoses pen's smokin' Aces*
*hoses Grinch and OP's keys out of tree*
Now Anna's got muddy shoulders, pen's got a soggy meld, Grinch is on her feet but crabby, and none of us have an excuse for being here. Mwahaha! (that's my diabolical genius laugh)
Ok, I realize I'd be both diabolicaler and geniouser if I wasn't so late to the party, but in my defense, palm trees can burn for a long time. It's the coconut milk.
*hoses pen's smokin' Aces*
*hoses Grinch and OP's keys out of tree*
Now Anna's got muddy shoulders, pen's got a soggy meld, Grinch is on her feet but crabby, and none of us have an excuse for being here. Mwahaha! (that's my diabolical genius laugh)
Ok, I realize I'd be both diabolicaler and geniouser if I wasn't so late to the party, but in my defense, palm trees can burn for a long time. It's the coconut milk.
Reply
glambert1998
| 0
lol at 76.go suck a meteor.i went vegan 4 u earth and recycled to help u since i was 2!!!!!
By
Mabster84
| 2
Got a stick?
By
TheTigerRoars
| 0
Climb the tree problem solved. Besides, it's Texas... There aren't any 'trees' only bushes. :D I can make that joke because I live there. ._.
-Fluffy McTiger
-Fluffy McTiger
Reply
SuperRichFish
| 6
Tigers in Texas? :O I'm going there nao :O
Reply
TheTigerRoars
| 0
-coughs awkwardly- I am merely... Um... A foreign exchange student. :D
-Fluffy McTiger
-Fluffy McTiger
Reply
SuperRichFish
| 6
But you said you live there, fail :D
Reply
TheTigerRoars
| 0
Hush, before they figure me out!
-Fluffy McTiger
-Fluffy McTiger
Reply
SuperRichFish
| 6
Would you care if somone said 'here kitty kitty' while thy were holding out wild hog meat?
Reply
TheTigerRoars
| 0
Well... That's a difficult question. What would happen most likely is: they get a paw to the face (both to distract and discipline), I snatch the hog, and I run away to the nearby forest.
-Fluffy McTiger
-Fluffy McTiger
Reply
SuperRichFish
| 6
Forest? in 'cough' not Texas 'cough'. do they have many forests there?
Reply
TheTigerRoars
| 0
Well, no... Some underbrush and some decent oak occasionally... Hey, wait a minute there... You're trying to trick me! I live in the mighty jungle! Far, far away! So phhht! :p
-Fluffy McTiger
-Fluffy McTiger
By
MAGNAVOX
| 0
Thank god for copies!