Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
Today, my daughter got her first period. I'm the one shaking and hyperventilating. I'm more nervous for her than I was for myself back when I got my first period. I just now understand my mom while she was pacing through house back and forward when I got my first. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML
Today, I had my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
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Top comments
d00d_c0m3_0n 0
That's a little mean O.o So it's kinda funny from someone else point of view. Although hopefully instead of being nervous, you were just annoyed at her. So at least she took your attention away from your nerves for a bit x]
Amkii 0
#3 - I love you!! But yeah your mom sounds a bit mean about it! So are you a virgin, though? I mean, if you're not, then, it wasn't such a mean comment for her to make.
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Comments (34)
SkoomaKi 28
Truth. Does your mother speak it OP?
mrsmaglietta 6
owned
_krystallynn_ 11
thats really disrespectful. you need to talk with her, your sex life is none of your buisness. unless your kinda young
MDNative 6
did she just call you a hoe? must be true.
IdahoLife 11
Your fault for being a ****
soccer8goalie 16
Well, that was a bit harsh
yungmumma88 10
but mahm! a penis doesn't have eyes!
roboy96 8
is she telling the truth though?? if so, mom 1: you 0. lol
zuvi9 21
But... the daughter is a result of the mom spreading her legs... wtf mom?!
Ramirex24 6
Get rekt