Today, I was taking the bus to work and it was a rather bumpy ride. The child sitting across from me asked her mom if her chin moves like mine when the bus goes up. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was on a city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling on it. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say, "Stop chewing on that!" FML
Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML
Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML
Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML
Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML
Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
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Top comments
hellawagon 0
You should have told her it does.
jmonteiro1 0
You're upset that some kid commented on your chin, not that you are so obese your chin jiggles. Good job focusing on what's really important.
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Comments (45)
perdix 31
We got the trifecta of fatties who thought no one noticed! We got ice-cream target lady, 80's workout Barbie, and multi-chin! Ding, ding , ding! A winning ticket pays $67.25.
FMY_FYL 0
blahblahblah i'm fat. i'm so sick of i-ate-too-many-hoho's-and-now-i'm-a-fatty-poor-me FML's. seriously. lose weight.
AndreaHatesYou1 0
"I eat too much and am lazy enough that I'm disgustingly fat. FML."
Xaviara 0
Ohhh my, hahaha ahh kids, they say the darndest things
Crapsickle 0
I have no body fat and a sleek, sexy physique. The only reason fat people stay fat is they are lazy assholes and won't get off the couch and work out. I kick ass.
Emperor_Jim 0
I agree with your assessment of fat people, but I disagree with you kicking ass. You see, sir, that simply isn't possible, because you aren't me.
Crapsickle 0
can we not both kick ass sir?
xxrogerthatxx 19
No, I'm happy with myself, "I", kick ass
Witchcraft_fml 5
At least she said "chin moves" instead of "chins move", right? :]
ky_stone22 0
Good point, good point! See, placement of S's can be the difference between pretty fat and just morbidly obese.
Witchcraft_fml 5
That's right!
WorkThatButt 2
If I were you I would have told her : Yes....easy, right?
tkay 0
lose some weight!
jemma_aussie 0
rude little child :P:P:P
HBubble 3
YDI for being fat