Miscellaneous: Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check...

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 792

You deserved it 9 690

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Same thing different taste

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 299

You deserved it 708

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 637

You deserved it 45 049

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 675

You deserved it 2 370

By Joel_mama - 27/07/2009 01:12 - New Zealand

Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 006

You deserved it 20 791

Halloween came early

By umm..WHAT?? - 22/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I woke up in horror to see that my 34-year-old cousin, who was spending the night, was watching me sleep. Once he noticed that I was awake, he quietly left the room. I told my mom, who then told me not to tell anyone and pretend that it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 10:05 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 176

You deserved it 5 299

By thanks, dad... - 30/08/2013 17:24 - Romania - Baia Mare

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 114

You deserved it 14 474

By sleepless - 20/06/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 040

You deserved it 2 901

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 425

Kill it with fire

By Anonymous - 31/05/2022 06:00 - Germany - Moormerland

Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 211

SmallBean 12

Sunday 20 January 2013 9:33

well at least he had the courtesy to check if you were up or not. Next time just have that 30 second conversation with your father and you can avoid this again.

sens3sfailing 24

Sunday 20 January 2013 10:25

Why didn't I think of that? I'll just completely change the thickness of my walls with that easy do-it-yourself kit they sell online...

Comments

lininnes 6

Monday 21 January 2013 11:38

Why are some people so disturbed by parents having sex??

benmec 18

Monday 21 January 2013 12:44

You have 2 parents that love each other?!!! That is sooooo disgusting! I really feel sorry for you! Lol

lininnes 6

Monday 21 January 2013 12:51

I think it's just natural that parents have sex/make love....

doodoo10 10

Monday 21 January 2013 19:13

sad thing is... this happened to me as well. I was scarred. I couldn't look at them the same way anymore. FYL OP

awessumpossum 5

Tuesday 22 January 2013 9:42

I hear my parents have sex all the time when my dad's in town from work. I don't understand why some people get so grossed out by it.

nedelife 3

Tuesday 22 January 2013 22:19

At least your father had the decency to have sex after you were 'asleep'. Most parents aren't that courteous.

AngelSpit 18

Thursday 24 January 2013 23:39

My mom is a lesbian and I've walked in on her a couple of times, also she's a dominatrix. Worst thing ever though I was cleaning and while moving stuff to vacuum her closet and I found a ziplock bag with her strap on in it, she always says "dicks.come in four sizes, small, medium, large and 'oh my phucking God" guess what size hers was .........