Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML
Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cigarette butt out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
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Top comments
plethora 3
I'm guessing you actually said "pig flu", not "swine flu", didn't you?
dirtyhippie 0
Hilarious. I know a guy who has believed for over three years now that bird flu will bring the end of the world. Soon as I saw the news I sent him a message saying OMG - flu outbreak and this one's got ur name on it!
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Comments (233)
DCS1138 0
This is amazing. If you were doing it on purpose you'd be my hero.
mustangsami118 5
people need to stop with the masks...its like..incredibly stupid
LiveLaughCheer 0
You're not going to get swine flu. You should have been written up for being ignorant and paranoid.
bigrederin 0
YDI because you're a paranoid freak.
Q_0 0
Those damned pigs! (jk, but seriously...) I wasn't even awarre that cops had the ability to write tickets to people because they feel offended. If I were a cop I'd pull over someone I really hate and give them a ton of tickets for nothing. Lol.
FMLinjail 0
I ******* hate cops!
that_guy_you_are 0
What 188 said. You're more likely to die from the regular flu, so chill out and take advantage of the cheap Mexican vacations and discount bacon while the rest of the world is going nuts.
KelCee_E 0
I hope I don't seem like a dumbass for saying this, but I fail to see how he could assume you were insulting him whatsoever. What the hell. And i'm with #192. Unless you have underlying medical problems, chill the **** out.
alyse0_fml 0
ARG cops are such assholes! I've tried to tell myself that not all cops are that way but man all these cop stories are making me lose my faith in them
yohaun12 3
49, show me one good, clean cop, and i'll show u millions that are dirty. in the same amount of time. cops suck, and if it were me, after he gave me the ticket, i really wud have insulted him then.