Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got on a crowded bus and was forced to stand. The bus made a sharp turn, so I reached for a pole to hold onto. Without looking, I grabbed the pole. It was wet and moist, but I nonetheless held on until the turn was done. I turned to see I had also grabbed a large man's nose and had squeezed it. FML
Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend outside a bar, when a hand on my shoulder yanked me back. I screamed and turned to see my husband glaring at me, with his best friend behind him, recording us on his phone. I'm fucked. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
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Top comments
TheBigDawg 8
Something similar happened to me, a few years ago. I was on a extreeeeemely packed subway car, and I was with my girlfriend. She had been sitting, and was standing as the station was approaching, so I did my best to reach back to help her steady herself. She grabbed my hand, we interlocked fingers (please, hold your "awww"s to the end) and headed out the door with a bunch of other people...when suddenly I realize my girlfriend's walking out on the opposite side I thought she was on. It turned out the girl whose hand I grabbed, and the guy whose hand my girlfriend grabbed, were also boyfriend and girlfriend, so we ended up all having a laugh, and we decided to get pretzels together. Not really a FML moment, but just thought I'd share.
itsfuntobesexy 0
I got more enjoyment reading #3's story than I did this FML.
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Comments (32)
TheBigDawg 8
Thanks, numbers 7, 9, 10, and 15 for enjoying my story.
King_of_Kings 3
your very welcome
King_of_Kings 3
i didnt need to say your welcome. sorry. thats just my natural reaction to when someone says thank you
TheBigDawg 8
Well, in all honesty, that's how it should be. The thing I don't know is how to respond once someone says "You're welcome".
King_of_Kings 3
hmmm, thats a tricky one. i usually just say "cool"
TheBigDawg 8
Hmm...cool.
0___0 9
LOOL @ #10 poor guy and story #3 was better than the OP *yawn*
Lick_yer_face 0
#24 I don't think Fmylife.com is the best place to start an epistemological discussion...
poopy910 8
awhhh #3 thats so adorable lol
TheBigDawg 8
Thanks. :)