Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, just as I was putting my contacts in, a gnat landed on it. Its guts got squished between my eyeball and the contact. FML
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Top comments
Vintage_fml 0
ROFL double penetration
24788 7
Lol, I wonder the odds of that happening.
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Comments (91)
chocolaholic 0
Wear sunglasses, idiot.
freaksilly 0
and you read them all, didn't you?
Scottz 0
Twin tower suicide bombing
mrlopez 13
Um... like stop one side and clear it out before you become a road hazard?
jrenf 8
ydi. wear goggles or glasses next time
lkb307 21
ever heard of.glasses moron
worldclassrager 41
Well I guess you have to stop...unless you know the bike trail so well you can do it eyes closed
Kidd_Ant 18
I now remember why this is the first FML I favorited lol.