Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
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Top comments
Soloman212 28
Maybe he wanted to take judgement into his own hands? Or maybe it was a facade so he could later catch you off guard. No one suspects the priests.
courtney680 17
Oh the irony..
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Comments (96)
DFresh503 8
I've heard of the church wanting their tithings, but this is ridiculous!
justawallflower 27
Can't trust all preachers... as a Christian I speak from experience