Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, after a bad head cold, my boyfriend woke up, shambled to the bathroom and sniffled. He then pulled the biggest booger I've ever seen out of his nose; it looked like a giant slug. He took a picture, then set it as his lock screen. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
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Top comments
ahabsfan 17
Could have been worse. She could have been feeding it to a secret lover.
zalittleman 11
She didnt share? How rude!
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Comments (82)
Artemishuntress 8
no more kisses for you ever. .. ..nasty, girl
maddieray26 8
Keepin' it classy.
CydH 8
That's so gross
shinikageWolf 15
She kisses you with that mouth!?
YoursAlways98 13
That is sooo disgusting like honestly fyl
Hash13 13
You should always keep some food in your fridge !
42069666 18
I ain't saying she's a golddigger but she seems to be digging for gold
eddy1965 6
Boogers the other white meat
laden_swallow09 35
I thought people grew out of that when they're eight, like picky eaters! Ick.
Sakuraashita 15
Today, after a long day putting up with the large piece of snot lodged up my nose, I decided to pick it. Suddenly a strange thought occurred to me: what might this taste like? Then I saw the horrified look on my boyfriend's face from outside the window. Turns out he was locked out. FML.