Transportation: Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street...

By Anonymous - 01/07/2017 06:00 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 144

You deserved it 291

Transportation

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Can't do the time? Don't do the crime!

Sudarsky's gas giant classification

By Ciabatta - 20/11/2008 11:10 - France

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 238

You deserved it 3 427

By sierra808 - 31/05/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I was walking the beach and I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other I smiled and waved as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 444

You deserved it 17 487

By snoozer - 23/03/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I received two withdrawl grades in school for droping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did this, and he said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 000

You deserved it 4 673

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 23/06/2021 16:01

Today, I'm on a camping trip, and despite the lovely weather, I'm wearing long clothing so the mosquitoes can’t sting me. Unfortunately, nobody seems to have told THEM that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 143

By justinherass - 28/03/2009 05:43 - Canada

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 811

You deserved it 24 938

By mjbx - 01/01/2012 19:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 796

You deserved it 15 940

By Demetria - 20/08/2012 22:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 448

You deserved it 4 773

By TheDeathguard - 20/07/2017 20:05

Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 603

You deserved it 277

By Nic - 17/11/2009 06:34 - United States

Today, after sleeping in, I finally sorted through a stack of mail I had been putting off and I found a Jury summons. Thinking it must be coming up soon, I checked the date, my appearance is scheduled for 7:45am on November 16th. Today is November 17th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 613

You deserved it 41 144

By FuckPollen - 08/07/2015 11:01 - United Kingdom - Hartlepool

Today, I attended a work interview. My hay fever has been flaring up during the hot weather, causing my throat to swell up and make me short of breath, which I explained. The woman interviewing me told me I was unsuccessful, as customers wouldn't be able to understand someone with my 'disability'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 837

You deserved it 1 890

By Frouse - 28/09/2018 22:02

Today, I was on the worst blind date ever, so I tried to secretly request an Uber to get out of there. My date then picked up his phone, receiving my request. Turns out he's an Uber driver and he was looking for a reason to get out of the date too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 959

You deserved it 785

By sarahpft - 13/09/2009 16:44 - United States

Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 133

You deserved it 2 463

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 043

You deserved it 3 488

By Kyle - 09/11/2012 06:57 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 434

You deserved it 4 336

"Pooping and Shit"

By everybodypoops - 02/08/2017 20:00

Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 792

You deserved it 508

By STOP - 08/05/2014 13:55 - Australia - West Hoxton

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 190

You deserved it 8 841

By LightsOut - 03/05/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, I finished working a 70 hour work week. I'm a lineman for the electric company, and worked extended hours all week getting people's lights back on after a wind storm. When I got home, my power was out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 481

You deserved it 3 118

By lilzoot - 08/02/2009 03:19 - United States

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 477

You deserved it 41 896

By Anonymous - 23/06/2013 04:10 - United States - Seattle

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 952

You deserved it 7 238

By dadadoo - 06/02/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 801

You deserved it 3 300

By anonymous - 01/03/2013 15:52 - United States - La Grande

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 136

You deserved it 2 765

By Anonymous - 22/04/2016 19:41 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I caught my 7 year old sister poking a dead bird with a stick, causing maggots to start coming out of the bird's sad little body. I was horrified and threw up. She won't stop mocking me for being a "sissy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 221

You deserved it 3 944

By yournick - 31/01/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 144

You deserved it 4 803

By Serire - 23/09/2014 00:23 - United States - Monroe

Today, my boyfriend couldn't go on a date with me because his mom said no. He's 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 164

You deserved it 5 177

By RyanSmithN - 15/01/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 193

You deserved it 9 191

By Stormy - 27/02/2011 21:46 - United States

Today, I went to my first ever high school party with music, drinks, and dancing. Within a few minutes of taking my first ever shot of tequila, I was in the worst pain in my life. My parents were called and I had to be taken to the hospital. I'm alcohol intolerant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 968

You deserved it 13 953

By Anonymous - 14/07/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I checked the facebook event page that I had set up for my 21st birthday at an awesome restaurant/bar which I had set up a week ago. Out of 39 invitees, the only person who said yes is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 398

You deserved it 5 556

Double take

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 08:26 - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 3 694

By outofajob - 08/07/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 672

You deserved it 3 868

By foreveravirgin - 15/08/2012 19:07 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 616

You deserved it 7 264

Clean your room

By Anonymous - 02/06/2021 11:01

Today, I've pretty much given up hope that she’ll ever learn to tidy up after herself. I just wish I could dock her allowance every time she makes me clean up her mess. Why can’t I? Because I’m not actually her mother. In fact, she’s mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 97

By driverman12 - 04/04/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 096

You deserved it 30 895

By liz - 03/10/2010 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I moved to get closer to his job. Today he got transferred 150 miles away from where we moved to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 581

You deserved it 2 607

By ~~~~ - 27/05/2016 18:45 - Belgium - Hemiksem

Today, my boyfriend added me to his friends' private Whatsapp group, after weeks of asking him to include me in more of his life. It turns out almost all they do is post pictures of their shits and rate them. There is nearly a year's worth of pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 341

You deserved it 6 014

By JB - 09/09/2012 08:34 - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 490

You deserved it 4 896

By Anonymous - 20/08/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 001

You deserved it 5 231

By footfood - 27/06/2011 14:56 - Slovenia

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 168

You deserved it 7 706

By probably_the_ex_now - 18/08/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 930

You deserved it 97 306

By theothercassie - 10/02/2011 14:55

Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 474

You deserved it 2 596

By LustyDragon - 05/06/2017 14:00

Today, my husband won't shave his beard, despite the fact it grows in wiry and looks like pubic hair. He is now accusing me of "not loving him for who he is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 887

You deserved it 1 207

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

GhostFox 33

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 12:19

Ask if there are cameras on that street and see if you can get the footage pulled if so. Also, crash forensics should help you out- the damage to your car shouldn't be a match for the damage that actually would have occurred had you hit her.

amarie2009 22

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 12:13

And that's why you invest 30 bucks for a dashcam! Americans are notorious for sueing people for stupid reasons to get some easy cash! Also these scams are highly populair in China and Russia, just go to youtube and see for yourself!

amarie2009 22

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 12:13

LeoCor 18

Send a private message

Sunday 2 July 2017 0:48

Actually American's are notorious for being stupid... not just suing..

Mike3258 18

Send a private message

Sunday 2 July 2017 9:14

this is more notorious in either Japan or China. I forget which, but apparently if you get hit by a car, the driver has to pay your insurance the rest of your life

yeongji 31

Send a private message

Monday 3 July 2017 7:27

Dash cams are useful! I recommend doing some research before deciding which one to get though. Mines a couple hundred (HD videos where you can see license plates, GPS enhanced that records speed, etc), but I rather pay that amount that a few thousand when someone decides to blame you when you're innocent, and/or pay even more than I already do for insurance.

GhostFox 33

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 12:19

Seeya55 31

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 13:03

Yeah, would there not be damage to your car? Where's the bruises on her? Being "mowed down" would have flung her or pushed her off the car onto the pavement. You had seriously better fight this, look for security footage and hire a lawyer. You could lose your licence and possibly get hit with an extreme bodily harm charge. When an accident happens and someone tries to pin it on you, stay calm and collected and try not to freak out, because if there is two people freaking out, they're going to side with the victim. Innocent until proven guilty.

bigtwobah 6

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 13:17

There must have been some witnesses.

Moerighan 23

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 13:49

This is why dash cams should be a must.

Lexyy17 18

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 14:19

Crap like this is why I think dash cams should come standard in new vehicles

HalfLit 17

Saturday 1 July 2017 14:53

I live in New York too. Even if OP really did hit her, even if she freaking died, if she wasn't at a crosswalk, he's innocent. It happened to someone on my street. Girl got hit by a car jay walking, she had severe injuries, and yet she ended up having to pay the driver for emotional distress because she was the one initially breaking the law.

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 14:57

You slammed the wrong pedal.

CiaphasCain2 20

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 16:10

Man, such stuff really sucks, hope you get through it. Anyways, I agree with the other people, higher a laywer and fight her claim, afterwards get a dashcam.

Chrystal Hartmire 3

Send a private message

Saturday 1 July 2017 16:35

Don't worry, it's likely nothing will come from it. My mum did actually get bit while crossing on the crosswalk with the little green guy active and never got even a sorry from the bitch that hit her.