Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML
Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
Today, I felt an intense pain in my abdomen, so my mom drove me to the hospital. When we were in the waiting room, she rudely said, "It's probably an STD since you're such a slut." And then she left me there. It was a kidney infection. FML
Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML
Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML
Today, I've been bedridden for 2 weeks. My mother, a very busy woman who lives 30 minutes away, took me to the doctor's office, which is barely 2 minutes across town. Turns out I have strep, and a bad ear infection. My loving boyfriend of 6 years, who lives with me, just told me to take a hot shower and I'd feel better. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML
Today, after weeks of flirting with the hot guy at the gym, he finally asked me to meet up with him outside. I was diagnosed with strep throat just hours before our date. FML
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Top comments
AbstraktThoughts 13
Was she speaking from experience? ;)
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Cough on your mothers food. Then accuse her of whoring around. Just for laughs though.
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Comments (109)
perdix 31
Tell her that's impossible -- tell her that you Purel every dick, every time.
graceinsheepwear 34
Sage advice.
whiplash2289 19
I'm sorry but I wouldn't let a girl purel my dick even with the promise of a blowie. If she's not careful that would sting like hell.
Juneyah1017 9
Wow.. That blows.
KevinFlynn 13
wonderful mom ya got there. others would say "well she would know" but not me. your mom is just a bitch
graceinsheepwear 34
Mom is confusing strep with pharyngeal (oral) gonorrhea. Set her straight with the facts.
morbid1 2
*****
ottokat 15
Well would you look who missed a. grade or five
Soniye 14
Ignorance at it's best !
EmsyyyRose13 24
You gotta wonder where she heard that.
tazmanmike2013 17
That sucks OP, FYL. Sounds like your mom needs to attend Sex Ed classes. I wonder if she thinks you can get pregnant from kissing! Lol
shins 7
She's gonna flip if you get tonsillitis