Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML
Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML
Today, I almost burned the house down while changing a lightbulb. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Today, I went to sit on my bed in the pitch black and I somehow completely misjudged where I was standing in the room, so I missed the bed entirely and sat down on thin air. With nothing to stop me falling, I landed full bore on my ass and felt my coccyx snap. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
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Top comments
jezane 9
Wasn't that a "bright" idea...
yahoowizard 16
I must ask, were you wearing pants?
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Comments (62)
perdix 31
So, does your gash look like a ******? Oh, the irony! Maybe your parents could debate the topic.
giveAchance 4
That was a bright idea
theWINDOWmonster 3
bulbasour.. bulb-ass-sore..
ImInYourFACEbook 8
It must have hurt OP like a 'razor leaf'
daydreamer244 13
WARNING: DO NOT PUT LIGHTBULBS ON CHAIRS
Uraziel 5
Without a first thought either...
JurassicHole 5
9- Damn, you seem to be suffering from a large case of "Over-reacting". If making a stupid mistake warranted the loss of the right to bring children into this world, then everyone wouldn't be able too. As for OP, holy crap that sucks. Hopefully your butt is doing better. Also to everyone putting "YDI", how could he? It was a simple accident of forgetfulness while he was busy with his cleaning.
DocBastard 40
Ass gash? I can fix that. Absent-minded dumbass? Can't fix that.
MightyBuns 0
man! I hate when that happens
TheLadyOpal 30
Shards of glass in the ass makes a man cranky, crabby and crass.
Beauzeau 2
Next time wear pants!