Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
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Top comments
nguido731 3
Dude that sucks. Sometimes you're just at the wrong place at the wrong time
energizerbunny23 18
That's pretty unlucky
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Comments (69)
1dvs_bstd 41
i'd wait outside for the son of bitch and return the bitch slap.. and that guy will get a pretty nasty tongue lashing too
no_playa_hater 14
daughter of a bitch*
chinaski7628 32
I could be wrong, but I think 16 was referring to the real ass grabber.
no_playa_hater 14
I know who they were talking about. I just mentioned that it might be more appropriate to hit the person who hit you in the first place.
uniformed 13
That's a slap in the face.
Adam5858 17
I cant think of a unluckier moment
vikky538 29
that's an unlucky ass moment... sorry op..
Chibi_Kitten 24
Wow that was bad of them for ASSuming..you know how it goes...wait in an ally for that douche..then let it all out.
PotterHead_DH 26
Wow, that was bad of you.
kotake 7
Why would you even wanna stay in such a crappy nightclub? And also it seems like you did a poor job explaining. Granted it catches people off guard but I know a good couple guys that would honestly flail in such a situation and make it look like they're guilty (smiling/laughing as if it's joke, talking men's rights drunk in a nightclub, etc. and yes I know stupid people). Not that that's your fault though once again it catches people off guard, Just don't do business there anymore.
cdawg69 10
classic case of trollin..
Bekll 31
The guy who did it must have gotten the tip from "The Alphabet of Manliness" chapter C: Copping a Feel. This is exactly how it would play out and you, OP, unfortunately were the scapegoat.
worldclassrager 41
Look for another club or explain what happened
50_shades 6
You're at a nightclub she should have expected it
Queenie2014 11
Women's bodies are not public property. How would you like it if someone touched you without your permission?