Health: Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when...

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 709

You deserved it 3 189

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Same thing different taste

Smooth

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I was in the cafeteria at a table near the guy I like. He was playing around with a ball with a couple of his friends. They dropped it, and it rolled over next to my foot. When I bent down to pick it up, I smashed my head against a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 693

You deserved it 5 030

By Harry - 10/06/2014 01:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 498

You deserved it 3 878

By ProtoBird - 14/04/2016 04:11 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I got hit so hard in the head by a dodgeball that a contact popped right out. To make matters worse, I continued to get hit as a futilely searched for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 844

You deserved it 1 579

By oww - 05/04/2011 07:46 - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game. It was windy, so I decided to get my hat from the car trunk. When I opened it and reached in, loose papers started flying everywhere. Panicked, my dad slammed the trunk shut on my fingers. Entering the stadium, I discovered it was free hat day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 053

You deserved it 5 711

Benched

By fmlprobot - 04/06/2009 23:48 - United States

Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 403

You deserved it 4 674

Exciting

By Anonymous - 23/07/2021 11:01

Today, I had a crucial volleyball playoff game. My dad came to watch. While in a set, my friend pointed over to the bench where my dad was sitting. I turned to see my dad snoring loudly as a result of him falling asleep. He achieved this with loudly cheering people all around him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 89

By secret_source - 17/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 088

You deserved it 2 007

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 16:00 - United States

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 382

You deserved it 2 782

By LetsMakeLove - 10/06/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 532

You deserved it 76 861

By Username - 08/07/2011 13:24 - United States

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 5 611

mongorian 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 9:32

Were the nachos hurt?

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 27 September 2009 9:30

Apparently, you like getting smacked with balls. Why do you want it? I wouldn't want to hold onto balls other people have held and smacked around.

Comments

igary 5

Wednesday 1 August 2012 22:37

Why weren't you paying attention to the game

stitesy29 18

Friday 26 July 2013 16:50

Pay attention to the game dumb ass

AssassinBug 15

Tuesday 3 December 2013 23:30

Well, I went to a baseball game with my dad because of a friend of his, so I never paid attention, I just victualed on pizza.

ArgentumAurum 24

Sunday 13 July 2014 20:58

Your dad sounds like a horrible person.

AnalBeads4U 20

Tuesday 9 August 2016 2:34

You know, OP, for using "all of the sudden" instead of "all of a sudden", you kind of deserved the foul ball....

Keywords

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The Top

Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 77

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 626

You deserved it 34 713

The Top

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 085

You deserved it 4 679

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 491

You deserved it 20 675

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 231

You deserved it 7 546

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 078

You deserved it 19 792

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 894

You deserved it 7 752

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 7 365

Same thing different taste

Smooth

Benched

Exciting

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