By fml0505 - 09/05/2013 06:49 - United States

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 856
You deserved it 7 742

fml0505 tells us more.

This is the OP! I live with a married couple because they are old friends of mine, the rent is cheap, and it helps them out with the bills as well. It's really not that bad, we get along really well. The baby talk just gets old when you hear it all the time ya know? I don't even think he realizes he's doing it at this point, and I don't want to get in the middle of their marriage. I'll just keep quiet, drown it out with manly music, and vent on FML! # 2 I will be long gone before they have a real baby. # 17 I am indeed very jealous of his beard. Also, they are not newly weds. And to clear things up, all three of us are roommates. He's not living with me instead of his wife like some of you thought. That is all.

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Just wait till they have an actual baby....

Comments

Get some earbuds and drown out that sissy crap with manly music.

Or get a pet tarantella, call it after his wife and talk to it with a soft and calming voice.

Seriously. What the hell is with "men" these days. F the wifes life I'd say. I dated a guy who did that to me. SO annoying

71, maybe the wife enjoys it?

Well that's what happens when people are in love. If its so terrible maybe you shouldn't be living with a married couple :/

#71, how about you go fuck yourself? I'm sick of being generalised because of one or two people from a group I support/belong to doing something someone finds annoying.

#91, believe it or not, people can be in love and still talk like adults.

126, I still don't think someone should live with a married couple unless they're their child or something.

I agree with you. man up, dudes. so fucking annoying when guys do that.

Just wait till they have an actual baby....

This is where I'd put a witty comment. IF I HAD ONE.

At least he would be able to keep the baby ecstatic. But I hope he does not do that when company is over...

Wow. The first two replies took my reply AND my backup reply.

If it annoys you to the point of insanity, why not talk to him about it? Instead of just complaining here.

OP most likely has and won't stop my brothers friend had the same problem when he went to collage and they wouldn't let him change rooms

Where's the fun in that?

He should talk to him about the baby voice...in a baby voice :O

50- if he goes to a third party to complain and not just talk to the person he's got the problem with like any mature person would, he has no right to bitch.

Guess the mature thing to do ain't very popular.

my god...this is even worse than my friend who makes her 2-year-old say "hi" and "thank you" and "bye" to every single person she encounters. so sorry OP. maybe you should start talking to them both in a baby voice til they get the message.

4, ...What's wrong with teaching little kids manners? Is it really that bad to make this world a better place with well-manneres teens and adults?

That doesn't sound very social. But how would you propose to raise kids? Hope that they are magically born with good manners?

Well you sound like a miserable person...

#4 Wow... You're right, that's terrible! Maybe your friend's two year old grows up to be a decent person, God forbid!

Watch out and play nice #4's profile says you'll be reported if you make mean comments! (although that may just apply to her knowledge of piercings)

Oh my god, MANNERS!! How obnoxious. This is why only certain people should breed.

#62, she's probably scrolling through this comments like "report, report, report...man I showed them."

I, personally, do not have a child but my 1 year old cousin is starting to get a grasp on some words and even as a cousin I'm proud! They're children learning how to speak and you find that annoying? I'm wondering what you're going to say to your children when they stop talking.

oh Jesus fucking Christ. ok. I don't mind that my friend wants her kid to have good manners. but when all day, every day, is her going "say this say this say this say this say this now say this say this say this now say that say this" it gets really annoying. I was going to edit my comment to include that it's not just those three phrases but I didn't have enough time. so chill, everybody. jeeeeeeeeez.

Well, how else you think a child learns? You have to keep at it until they understand. It's not like you say it once and they automatically know. My one year old learned how to say hi, bye, and blow kisses because I had to show her and keep on showing her how too.

98, the simple solution there is don't go and fucking see her then you miserable git.

98, can you pierce your fingers together so we don't have to read your asshole comments?

#4 If a little kid said Hiiiiiiii, bye, and thank you to me, it would make my day o:

That would suck major time but why are you rooming with a married couple anyway?

Maybe he is military and in a war zone I had a roommate while I was in Iraq and talked to my wife every night via skype

Sometimes couples have no other choice than to have roommates. Especially if they are newly weds. When my husband and I first got married I had to move in with him and his roommates because we are young and just starting out and could not yet afford our own place. It was not particularly enjoyable to be newly married and living with other people, but it was necessary at the time.

This is the OP! I live with a married couple because they are old friends of mine, the rent is cheap, and it helps them out with the bills as well. It's really not that bad, we get along really well. The baby talk just gets old when you hear it all the time ya know? I don't even think he realizes he's doing it at this point, and I don't want to get in the middle of their marriage. I'll just keep quiet, drown it out with manly music, and vent on FML! # 2 I will be long gone before they have a real baby. # 17 I am indeed very jealous of his beard. Also, they are not newly weds. And to clear things up, all three of us are roommates. He's not living with me instead of his wife like some of you thought. That is all.

OK please tell me that OP's response above does not remind only me of How I Met Your Mother. Whaaaat? I mean except for that Marshall doesn't have a beard at all or ever did. It's so weird how similar it is that I thought he was lieing

I thought the same thing.

#138: I smell a pilot in the works...

Ted, is that you?

Yes! Thought the exact same thing. The OP is Ted Moseby

Maybe they do some kind of freaky role play?

I was thinking just that. Maybe his wife has that nappy fetish??

Or maybe he's a pedophile.

True fact- pedophiles are notorious for talking to adult women in baby voices

You realize that a pedophile is someone who is sexually attracted to children, right? How does talking to your wife in a baby voice fit that?

#142 I didn't know that but that's good to know. I'll keep my ears perked up for a man talking to a woman in his baby voice.

Perhaps you should ask him to move in with his wife rather than rooming with you!

Invite a female friend over and next time he calls his wife have her say "Honey, come back to bed" really loud. Instant baby voice remover!

I don't think he should ruin his life lol

#8, why shouldn't the OP just say it in his own voice? That will freak the wife out at least as much and not involve the trouble of finding a woman to do it.

Just talk to them in a baby voice. Maybe he will get it

Why isn't she his roommate? Maybe this is your hint that a) you need to find a girlfriend of your own, and b) need to disabuse yourself of the notion that early facial hair has anything to do with personality or character.

Neckbeards tell all though Perdix.

We all live together. A) Had one! Don't want another gf for a while B) I know that. I only threw that information in so that you could picture a grown ass looking man since he was age 12, talking like a baby.

#117, ok, thanks, so I assume you are OK with me fulfilling your request by smothering you with diapers? Surely, you are wondering whether I plan to use adult or baby diapers, to which I answer *lower sunglasses* *pauses* Depends.

Oh yeah.. totally fine with me, put me down. Then you can use the same diaper on me for when my bowels release after I'm dead. So, adult diapers.. to answer your question.