Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML
Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML
Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Be lucky she wasn't talking about vaginal infections or her sex life. Seriously, it could have been a lot more painful...
KelceyLoves 0
Well I'm sure she didn't come up with the topic out of the blue. Why'd you bring it up?
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Comments (93)
kshizzlekt 0
wow thats pretty gross
Jimboom 12
Lol. See, old people are still relevant.. Now you know what to expect when you get to her age. ;-)
kshizzlekt 0
funny
kshizzlekt 0
:)
sallen0046 4
She could not possibly have had enough bladder infections in one year to take up an entire five hour conversation. You could have told her you didn't want to hear about them, you could have changed the subject, and even still, taking no action in this does not **** your life. Adults discuss their diseases and ailments, learn to deal with it.
Schizomaniac 24
Calm down, chief. Everything is going to be okay.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe she speaks really slow. Maybe she has memory problems and kept forgetting what she was talking about.
Cjmw 7
That's our Christmas dinner in a nutshell.
derkaderk 1
ikr
imright24 0
Most old people do things like that. This isn't a FML.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for being in a car. YDI for having a grandma who has a bladder. YDI for causing her bladder infections and not listening to her beg you to stop. YDI for having a grandma at all. Freak.
yolie_fml 0
The way you said "Freak" at the end made this extremely awesome.
debbiess 0
Yeah! What's up with this people that have grandmas?! The world is full of freaks!
lillibeth 0
That kind of conversation is what we have at the dinner table in my family...
sourgirl101 29
I finally watched that "Legion" movie last night. It sucked except for that "grandmom" scence. Oh and ofcousre the "ice cream man"!
mona_is_here 10
I know right! I'll never forget those faces, I think. Creeeepy.