Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML
Today, I thought the cashier said the new blouse I picked out was ugly as she was ringing me up. I'm really self-conscious about my fashion sense, so I snapped and started yelling at her. It wasn't until she was close to tears did I find out she said "lovely" not "ugly". So, that's another store I can't go back to. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML
Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "You jerk! Why are you making fun of her? She has Tourette's, you know!" FML
Today, I picked out the perfect combination of clothes, making sure everything matched, before heading off to work. As soon as I walked into the office, my coworker asked, “Why are you wearing pajamas?” I had no idea that my "stylish" new pants were actually a pair of super baggy pajama bottoms. FML
Today, I walked into a store, grabbed a shopping cart, and started browsing. After 15 seconds, I realized I was in the wrong store. The cashier watched as I awkwardly returned my cart and walked out like I totally meant to do that. FML
Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML
Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML
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Top comments
t_fangz 0
Don't feel bad. When I saw the commercial, I thought they jingled too.
mandark 9
When people like you type like that, I want to smack them.
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Comments (70)
ben10jammin 3
And u actually want to buy theses?
PainInTheAsss 16
You also type like an idiot.