Today, I was trying to change my PIN code in order to make my phone more secure and prevent people from getting information from it. Instead, I somehow ended up locking my phone permanently. FML

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

I'm so tired

Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML