maryfaithh
United States
Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML
Anonymous
Cooked
Today, I tried to make mashed potatoes but then went into another room to wait on them, then forgot about them, ruining my only big pot and a full bag of potatoes. FML
razordot
Brisbane, Australia
Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML
missgayle319
United States
Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML
dumbbb
United States
Great idea
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
The war on pickles
Today, I spent my lunch break trying to open a jar of pickles that had been stuck for weeks. I finally gave up and asked a coworker for help. He tapped the lid once with a spoon and it opened immediately. I'd been fighting a pickle jar every day for a month. FML
nessacadesa
United States
Slicy slicy
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Anonymous
United States
Check your luggage
Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML
Tired Tater
Christchurch, New Zealand
Mush
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Anonymous
Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML
Top comments
that1guyyy 12
That's uncanny
DocBastard 40
You dumbass! The potato peeler is for mixing things, and the can opener is for slicing pizza. You're supposed to use the microwave to open cans. Everyone knows that.
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Comments (134)
mama2b3 20
I do things like this...it's called sleep deprivation.
KiddNYC1O 22
I know, right? I drove all the way to work today in reverse!
HeartbreakinLove 0
lmao thats ridiculius
asherm 15
Alzheimer's?
tonygar 18
You dumb ass!
GoW_Chick 15
I bet even your cat knew you were doing it wrong when you were trying to open it's food with a potato peeler, but couldn't get it open, that's why it was staring at you from the backseat of your car..
maryfaithh 4
It wasn't for my cat? It was spaghetti o's. Dumbass :) hahahahaha
GoW_Chick 15
Uh-oh spaghetti o's, I think you got that wrong, you're the dumbass who can't tell the difference between a peeler and a can opener, I was making a reference to a long forgotten FML. ;)
maryfaithh 4
Cool.
lahorasono 0
Haha. That's awesome.
aquaeyedsiren 0
was this before you spent who knows how long trying to get your breakfast out of an open microwave by continually pushing the button, wondering why it wasn't working?
bubo_fml 11
Yeah, but next time you gotta peel a potato, you'll tattoo the hell out of that spud!!
spencerbalog 0
I don't see how this makes your life awful?
ehtheis518 0
We're you stoned
ForeverAloneGal 23
Everybody has their derp moments. Don't sweat it.